More and more people from wealthy countries are are spending in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is it? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?
In recent years , wide range of resources because
high
number of young Change the article
a high
the high
people
from affluent countries
are
spending time in Wrong verb form
have been
countries
which poorer for
Change preposition
to
fulfilling
free work like teaching students or constructing apartments. There are some reasons for Wrong verb form
fulfil
this
growing trend. In my mind, this
may be beneficial for youngesters
and will justify my whole point of view in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, many adults from richer Correct your spelling
youngsters
countries
perform teaching
or Wrong verb form
teach
building
houses in incapable areas. There are valid causes for Replace the word
build
this
statement, first and foremost, personal development. Volunteering abroad provides young people
unique
life experiences that help them grow personally and cognitively in their future Change preposition
with unique
career
or Fix the agreement mistake
careers
life
. They can master adaptation in very difficult works and challenges in every Fix the agreement mistake
lives
places
. Change to a singular noun
place
In addition
to this
, adventure and exchange Change preposition
of knowledges
knowledges
, so many young residents are drawn to the chance of living in Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
new
area, Add an article
a new
the new
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
new
culture and language , Correct article usage
a new
as a
result
they can grow intelligently and do all Takayuki more clearly. Not only benefit for their own experience but Add a comma
result,
also
for community because high quality
universities and good-paid Add a hyphen
high-quality
job
offer opportunities person who have Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
knowledge
and experience. For instance
, volunteering job
rapidly increased in European Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
countries
especially
for elderly inhabitants more than Add the comma(s)
, especially
previous
years. Ostensibly, Change preposition
in previous
people
comprehend value
of opportunity and chance Add an article
the value
by
their community looking Change preposition
in
those
poor Correct determiner usage
apply
countries
.
On the other hand
, it could be more advantageous both
Change preposition
for both
community
and Correct article usage
the community
Correct article usage
the youngesters
youngesters
. First of all, when young Correct your spelling
youngsters
people
visit for volunteering various places , this
may be free labor
andChange the spelling
labour
Correct article usage
a
volunteer
bring skills , time and sometimes Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
sources
that help communities improve infrastructure ( houses, shops, healthcare Correct your spelling
resources
centers
). By the way, Change the spelling
centres
benefit
for Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
youngesters
to achieve Correct your spelling
people
broaden
Replace the word
broad
knowledge
and life-changing experiences which
faced in low-income places, can attract universities and employers , giving them a competitive advantage Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
he or she own Change preposition
in
knowledge
.
Nevertheless
, some residents may respond dismissively to volunteers feeling that they should pay for household services. In these cases
residents might not show respect forward the volunteers expecting them to 'just do the work 'without any complaints or difficulties.
Add a comma
cases,
To conclude
, more and more country's youngesters
are spending for fulfilling any kind of task like instructing or building new houses, with some reasons like personal growth and entertainment. Correct your spelling
youngsters
This
way help
to boost Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
knowledge
and social interactions for adults with
poorer Change preposition
in
countries
.Submitted by Writing9 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to clarify your thesis and main points more directly in the introduction to guide the reader clearly on what to expect in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences to enhance the logical structure.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples that are relevant and directly support your main ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear single focus, with sentences that logically follow from each other.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify and deepen your explanation in some parts to strengthen the main points with more details.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear conclusion which summarizes the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The ideas regarding personal development and adventure appeal as reasons for volunteering are convincingly presented.
Task Achievement
You've identified different stakeholders in the situation and attempted to weigh the benefits for each group.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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