IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many countries consider eighteen-year-olds to be adults, while other countries don’t. What do you think about it? Give your opinion and some relevant examples based on your own experience.

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In some countries being an adult has a limited age which is considered a minimum of eighteen and
this
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 will allow them to get married, drive motor vehicles, and vote in elections. In some other countries,
this
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 age is more. I strongly believe that the right age for a person as an adult who can be involved in legal and main social activities as mentioned above would be eighteen and I can explain
this
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 via reasons and examples below.
Firstly
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, based on the physical characteristics of the normal human being, some specifications of the body
such
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 as sexual desires and cognitive growth are at an acceptable level when the person is in the eighteenth year of their life and expected to handle their necessities.
Accordingly
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, society should leave them free to make the right decision either to marry someone or participate in an election
that is
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 effective for their future.
For instance
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, a fellow in their eighteenth year who has just succeeded in entering a university must have the capability to drive their car to save time.
Also
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, they should be allowed to embrace an official relationship with a partner who can be supposedly a good choice for life.
On the other hand
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, if the limit of maturity exceeds more than discussed above, the total growth of young ages would be delayed mentally which can cause some inconveniences for the social aspects, because, on the one side they are growing physically but on the other side they are limited to do some required related actions for the case.
For example
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,
although
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 they are nineteen or more and they require some kind of privacies, they are still forced to stay with their parents and follow their old culture. Following all the points mentioned above, teenagers have to be considered adults quite soon and at least when they are in their eighteenth year of life, which will help society grow faster and social inconveniences will not occur.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph expresses a single idea or set of related ideas. Consider organizing the essay with a clear opening statement, development in the middle, and a concise conclusion summarizing your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to enhance readability, and ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth to maintain logical flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, while ensuring each one is directly relevant to your argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by providing a clear opinion on the age of adulthood and supporting it with reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the argument, providing a clear starting and ending point for the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are clearly stated and logically connected, forming a coherent argument throughout the essay.
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