IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter ◦ remind your employer what the course was about ◦ explain why the course was useful to you in your work ◦ suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues

#course #work #employer #feedback #colleagues
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Dear Mr Ali, I hope
this
 message finds you well. I'm writing to inform you that the facility
course
 was beneficial and I will explain the outcomes
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the training
course
.
Firstly
, the facility
course
 taught me an effective way to improve my communication with colleagues.
Secondly
, the tutor has a lot of experience in Microsoft applications
such
 as Word and Excel which is a demand for our occupation.
Lastly
, I learned the teamwork and how they solve their issues and avoid burnout which really interests me to work hard.
However
,
This
course
 needs a huge effort and requires a strong knowledge of subjects
such
 as Math and Static so there are many colleagues that
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not have strong feedback and are weak in math classes. Thank you for your time and for contacting me. It is actually a pleasure to attend
this
 training
course
. Yours Faithfully, Naif Nazzawi.
Submitted by naif.waleead on

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Coherence/Cohesion
Provide a clearer structure by separating different points into distinct paragraphs, which enhances readability and organization.
Task Achievement
Consider rephrasing some sentences that are slightly awkward. For example, 'Lastly, I learned the teamwork and how they solve their issues and avoid burnout which really interests me to work hard.' could be rephrased for clarity.
Task Achievement
You have clearly addressed all parts of the task, including reminding the employer about the course, explaining its usefulness, and suggesting its applicability to others.
Task Achievement
The language used is appropriately formal and respectful, suitable for a letter to an employer.
Coherence/Cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, reflecting a respectful tone towards the employer.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Training program
  • Skill enhancement
  • Job responsibilities
  • Practical exercises
  • Hands-on experience
  • Operational efficiency
  • Subject matter
  • Prerequisites
  • Specialized knowledge
  • Teaching methodology
  • Learning preferences
  • Feedback
  • Course facilitator
  • Professional development
  • Engagement
  • Interactive components
What to do next:
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