People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Some people think that government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
In
this
recent days, Correct determiner usage
apply
universities application
Fix the agreement mistake
university applications
has
become more challenging and meticulous. Not only Correct subject-verb agreement
have
people
from the cities who come from high socio-economic Add a missing verb
do people
background
find it difficult to get in, Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
it
becomes extremely hard for those people who come from rural areas with lower socio-economic Correct word choice
but it
group
as well. In my opinion, I agree that the main body Fix the agreement mistake
groups
who
is responsible Correct pronoun usage
that
to create
an easy pathway will be the Change preposition
for creating
government
.
Firstly
, the government
needs to work close
with the Replace the word
closely
ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
education
to ensure a more efficient system in place. Capitalize word
Education
This
includes a collection of database
from all the schools in the nation. Fix the agreement mistake
databases
For instance
, a graph of the pupil's achievements and also
monitoring adequate funding has been distributed to the school are in place. This
will ensure that there is a smooth transition flow for the students from the school to the university
.
Secondly
, the government
needs to apply and abide the
concept of equality. Equal chance should be given to the students from rural Change preposition
by the
school
to enter a Fix the agreement mistake
schools
university
. For example
, most universities if not all have an alumni system. Children whose parents once studied at the university
,
have an upper hand or more Remove the comma
apply
privillage
to enter the same Correct your spelling
privilege
privileged
university
as compared to a student whose parents who never studied there. Therefore
, the government
should monitor this
closely to minimize bias.
In conclusion, I agree that the government
together with
the ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
education
Capitalize word
Education
are
responsible Correct subject-verb agreement
is
to create
a pathway for Change preposition
for creating
the
students from rural Correct article usage
apply
area
to enter the Fix the agreement mistake
areas
university
easily. An adequate
funding and close monitoring of the entry requirements without taking one's background into account are essentials to ensure a fair system for all.Correct article usage
Adequate
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task achievement
Your main ideas are clear and relevant, but try to broaden your examples to make your argument stronger. Perhaps give a specific example of a successful program or policy.
task achievement
Try to make sure your ideas are fully developed, including counterpoints or addressing potential objections to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using connecting words and phrases effectively will help.
grammar
Keep an eye on sentence structure and grammar; while your ideas are clear, minor errors might hinder the reader's understanding slightly.
task achievement
You clearly present your standpoint and articulate the main reasons why you think the government should ease university entry for students from rural backgrounds.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well linked, summarizing your points nicely which helps the reader understand your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph contributing to the development of your argument. This coherence makes your writing easy to follow.