IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Some people think that government should make it easier for them to enter universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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In
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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recent days,
universities application
Fix the agreement mistake
university applications
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become more challenging and meticulous. Not only
people
Add a missing verb
do people
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 from the cities who come from high socio-economic
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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 find it difficult to get in,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 becomes extremely hard for those people who come from rural areas with lower socio-economic
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 as well. In my opinion, I agree that the main body
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is responsible
to create
Change preposition
for creating
show examples
 an easy pathway will be the
government
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 needs to work
close
Replace the word
closely
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 with the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
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 to ensure a more efficient system in place.
This
Linking Words
 includes a collection of
database
Fix the agreement mistake
databases
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 from all the schools in the nation.
For instance
Linking Words
, a graph of the pupil's achievements and
also
Linking Words
 monitoring adequate funding has been distributed to the school are in place.
This
Linking Words
 will ensure that there is a smooth transition flow for the students from the school to the
university
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 needs to apply and abide
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 concept of equality. Equal chance should be given to the students from rural
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 to enter a
university
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, most universities if not all have an alumni system. Children whose parents once studied at the
university
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 have an upper hand or more
privillage
Correct your spelling
privilege
privileged
 to enter the same
university
Use synonyms
 as compared to a student whose parents who never studied there.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should monitor
this
Linking Words
 closely to minimize bias. In conclusion, I agree that the
government
Use synonyms
together with
Linking Words
 the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 responsible
to create
Change preposition
for creating
show examples
 a pathway for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students from rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 to enter the
university
Use synonyms
 easily.
An adequate
Correct article usage
Adequate
show examples
 funding and close monitoring of the entry requirements without taking one's background into account are essentials to ensure a fair system for all.

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task achievement
Your main ideas are clear and relevant, but try to broaden your examples to make your argument stronger. Perhaps give a specific example of a successful program or policy.
task achievement
Try to make sure your ideas are fully developed, including counterpoints or addressing potential objections to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, but make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using connecting words and phrases effectively will help.
grammar
Keep an eye on sentence structure and grammar; while your ideas are clear, minor errors might hinder the reader's understanding slightly.
task achievement
You clearly present your standpoint and articulate the main reasons why you think the government should ease university entry for students from rural backgrounds.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well linked, summarizing your points nicely which helps the reader understand your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph contributing to the development of your argument. This coherence makes your writing easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • socioeconomic barriers
  • educational equity
  • financial aid
  • grants and scholarships
  • tuition fees
  • living expenses
  • admission criteria
  • support mechanisms
  • mentoring
  • tutoring
  • bridging courses
  • outreach programs
  • awareness campaigns
  • online learning platforms
  • technological infrastructure
  • educational opportunities
  • policy advocacy
  • non-governmental organizations
  • private sectors
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