IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the world tourism significantly depends as the main revenue,
although
Linking Words
, if not controlled appropriately, it can lead to numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems. Tourism can be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
, but
on the other hand
Linking Words
 negatively
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 values.
This
Linking Words
 essay will prove that the advantages are
grater
Correct your spelling
greater
show examples
 than the
disatvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
To begin
Linking Words
, tourists bring more success and customers for the visiting
countries
Use synonyms
 enterprises. When
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, people are drawn to the nation's food or costume culture,
therefore
Linking Words
 wanting to get an unforgettable experience by spending their money on them. Tourists always choose the most popular and traditional places to visit,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why they make
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 main income
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 these retailers.
For example
Linking Words
,
souvenier
Correct your spelling
souvenir
show examples
 shops significantly
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on foreign
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and traditional
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 are full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them
also
Linking Words
.
As a result
Linking Words
, these people play a major role in various small business
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the downside
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the
visitors
Change to a genitive case
visitor's
visitors'
show examples
 negative impact on the
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 culture and citizens. It is not uncommon for many
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
travellers not to be educated enough about their destination rules and beliefs. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 people are not familiar with the fact that other cultures have
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 etiquette and laws from
them
Correct pronoun usage
theirs
show examples
. In Rome,
for instance
Linking Words
, it is
obligated
Replace the word
obligatory
show examples
 to be fully covered by clothes in churches, but ,
unfortuantely
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
, most of the visitors do not follow these rules. In the outcome, they disrespect the
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 regulations and the community. In conclusion, regarding the discussed arguments, the benefits outweigh
its
Change the word
the
show examples
disatvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. Even if tourists sometimes act rebelliously
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 manner, they provide significant pluses to local businesses as
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 primary income.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

advice task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement in the introduction clearly states the main argument or position of the essay.
advice task achievement
Do expand on your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to support your argument. The example about Rome was good, but adding more can strengthen your points.
advice task achievement
Work on developing more complex sentence structures to improve clarity and sophistication of your response.
advice coherence cohesion
Some transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Try incorporating phrases to link ideas more fluidly.
advice general improvement
Work on reducing grammatical and spelling errors to enhance overall readability and professionalism.
positive coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
positive task achievement
You identified both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, which is essential for balanced argumentation.
positive task achievement
Good use of specific example (Rome) to illustrate the potential disadvantages of tourism.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • source of income
  • vulnerable
  • cultural exchange
  • commercialization
  • preservation
  • conservation
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable tourism
  • eco-friendly
  • global fluctuations
  • cultural landscape
  • habitat destruction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: