Some people think sports are important for society, while others believe they should be taken as leisure activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The argument presented discusses both sides of the debate regarding the importance of
sports
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in society. On one hand, there is a belief that
sports
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have immense benefits for
individuals
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, including physical health improvements and the alleviation of mental fatigue.
Additionally
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, engaging in
sports
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can divert people from engaging in detrimental activities.
On the other hand
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, the opposing viewpoint suggests that
sports
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should be considered a leisure
activity
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, and
individuals
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should prioritize other responsibilities that are more crucial in their lives. The first side of the argument emphasizes the significant role of
sports
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in public well-being. Regular physical
activity
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can help decrease health problems, not only on a physical level but
also
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in terms of mental well-being. Engaging in
sports
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for a few minutes after a long and exhausting workday can provide relief and rejuvenation.
Furthermore
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, participating in
sports
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can keep
individuals
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occupied with beneficial activities,
thus
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reducing the likelihood of engaging in harmful
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
However
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, the second side of the argument posits that
sports
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should be undertaken as a leisure
activity
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rather than a mandatory obligation.
This
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perspective emphasizes that people have other crucial responsibilities that require their attention and should be fulfilled before engaging in
sports
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. Factors
such
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as financial stability and building a career are often prioritized for a good quality of life.
Additionally
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,
individuals
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with disabilities or handicaps may feel marginalized or degraded when they witness others participating in
sports
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,
further
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highlighting the complexities of integrating
sports
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as a societal norm. In conclusion,
sports
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have undeniable benefits for our health, whether played regularly or as a leisure
activity
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.
However
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, considering the other obligations and liabilities
individuals
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have, it is argued that
sports
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should not be mandatory but rather seen as a personal choice and a way to unwind during free time. Each perspective offers valid points, and the weighing of these arguments ultimately depends on individual preferences and circumstances.

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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples can make your points more relatable and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your transition between paragraphs is smooth, and you have a clear structure. To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next by using linking words or phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a well-defined introduction and conclusion, providing a clear framework for your argument.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both viewpoints and provide a balanced argument, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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