IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the united kingdom, Sweden, Italy and portugal between 1957 and 2007

#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The maps
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the
place
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
bookstore
Add an article
a bookstore
the bookstore
show examples
 in 2000 and now. These changes in the
bookstore
Use synonyms
 for 24 years show how the
places
Use synonyms
 inside have changed, and which
places
Use synonyms
 have been added to the
bookstore
Use synonyms
 . In 2000 the fiction
books
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 was the largest
place
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
bookstore
Add an article
the bookstore
a bookstore
show examples
 which is located at
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 of the map and to the left corner.
While
Linking Words
 the Art,Hobbies and Cookery bookcases
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 located in the middle of the
bookstore
Use synonyms
.The travel
books
Use synonyms
,New
books
Use synonyms
 and service desk
area
Use synonyms
 had been located
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 to the entrance.Now the fiction
books
Use synonyms
area
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 smaller and
instead
Linking Words
 of those
places
Use synonyms
 we can see the art,hobbies and cookery
books
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
,and the non-fiction
area
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced
instead
Linking Words
 of
fiction
Correct article usage
the fiction
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 to the corner.There is a new cafe
instead
Linking Words
 of
non-fiction
Correct article usage
a non-fiction
show examples
books
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 and their tables in the middle of
Use synonyms
bookstore
Correct article usage
the bookstore
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of bookcases of art,hobbies and cookery .
While
Linking Words
 the
places
Use synonyms
 of the travel
books
Use synonyms
,new
books
Use synonyms
 and service desk stayed in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 same
places
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Over these
last
Linking Words
 24 years,
places
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
bookstore
Fix the agreement mistake
bookstores
show examples
 have changed and some
places
Use synonyms
had been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 remained in the same
place
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, bookstore, places, books, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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