IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the united kingdom, Sweden, Italy and portugal between 1957 and 2007

#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The maps
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the
place
 of
bookstore
Add an article
a bookstore
the bookstore
show examples
 in 2000 and now. These changes in the
bookstore
 for 24 years show how the
places
 inside have changed, and which
places
 have been added to the
bookstore
 . In 2000 the fiction
books
place
 was the largest
place
 in
bookstore
Add an article
the bookstore
a bookstore
show examples
 which is located at
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 of the map and to the left corner.
While
 the Art,Hobbies and Cookery bookcases
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 located in the middle of the
bookstore
.The travel
books
,New
books
 and service desk
area
 had been located
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 to the entrance.Now the fiction
books
area
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 smaller and
instead
 of those
places
 we can see the art,hobbies and cookery
books
places
,and the non-fiction
area
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced
instead
 of
fiction
Correct article usage
the fiction
show examples
area
 to the corner.There is a new cafe
instead
 of
non-fiction
Correct article usage
a non-fiction
show examples
books
place
 and their tables in the middle of
bookstore
Correct article usage
the bookstore
show examples
instead
 of bookcases of art,hobbies and cookery .
While
 the
places
 of the travel
books
,new
books
 and service desk stayed in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 same
places
. In conclusion, Over these
last
 24 years,
places
 in
bookstore
Fix the agreement mistake
bookstores
show examples
 have changed and some
places
had been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 remained in the same
place
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, bookstore, places, books, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
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