IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

One of your friends has asked you to be a partner in his new business. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Give your opinion of your friend's business idea Tell him whether or not you have decided to accept the offer Explain your reasons for this decision Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Mark,

#friends #partner #business #friend #idea #offer #decision #addresses #mark
Dear Mark, I am writing in the context of
proposal
Correct article usage
the proposal
show examples
 you sent me for being your business partner.
Firstly
, I think you have a lot of courage and
strenghth
Correct your spelling
strength
 as you are opening up your trade of your own at
such
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age.
Furthermore
, I feel like the main idea of your
bsuiness
Correct your spelling
business
 is great as you are thinking of starting up chains of restaurants
at
Change preposition
in
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 various parts of India.
Secondly
, I want to thank you for considering me and giving me a chance to affiliate
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your business.
Thirdly
, I really appreciate your efforts and determination for building a
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 of your own.
However
, I ponder I am not yet capable of being a co-founder and of taking responsibility
yet
Rephrase
apply
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. Actually, I want to continue with my studies for some time. Having said that, I believe I still need some time to figure out my capabilities and abilities plus, make myself more worthy of what I do.
Moreover
, I have a dream
to get
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of getting
show examples
 the best degree overseas
hence
, I am
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advanced education in America regarding trade and
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
. I hope you can understand my
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 and I wish you
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 of luck
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your business. Regards Soojana
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed reasons or examples to strengthen your decision explanation.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling errors like 'strenghth', 'bsuiness', and 'carrer'.
task achievement
You provided a clear and polite response to your friend's offer.
coherence cohesion
The letter maintains a respectful and friendly tone throughout.
coherence cohesion
You have used proper paragraphing, making it easy to follow your ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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