IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Sociologists opine that social networking websites can have a negative impact on society as they can be used to spread false information. Do you agree or disagree?

#sociologists #opine #websites #impact #society #spread #information
It is true that social
media
 may negatively influence communities since there can be a chance for publishing
data
 which are
flaws
Wrong verb form
flawed
show examples
.
Although
 some might argue
this
 can have detrimental impacts on them, I strongly disagree with
this
 opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and think it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 less harm to the communities.
To begin
 with, as a majority of
people
 from all walks of life can share information without any evidence, the exposure of misleading information can affect all individuals' life facets.
Consequently
, false
data
 shape and skew societies' opinions on crucial issues, which leads to societal misunderstandings and
tentions
Correct your spelling
tensions
.
Furthermore
,
due to
 the sheer volume of
data
,
people
 may have difficulty
check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
 the facts of
news
 on social networking websites.
This
 results in prolonged circulation of misinformation
un
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 communities.
On the other hand
, there are a few benefits as well for users of these platforms and
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
drawbackes
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
drawback
 can be solved by the means of implementing strict regulation with regard to posting
news
 on
these platform
Change the determiner
this platform
these platforms
show examples
. Regarding
positivity
Correct article usage
the positivity
show examples
 of
this
 issue, consuming
news
 would be faster than paper-based, which is more likely to be proper to humans' fast pace of life.
Moreover
,
people
 can be informed of each other milestones with ease when they communicate with each other on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 networking, meaning that in the
retrespect
Correct your spelling
retrospect
,
people
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to make
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 calls to their relatives in order to announce
Change preposition
to them
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new events in their
perdonal
Correct your spelling
personal
 lives. Thanks to technology, they can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time by only
post
Replace the word
posting
show examples
 their personal
news
 on the Internet.
To conclude
, it is undeniable that social
media
 has negative effects on individuals' lives
such
 as fostering misunderstanding and there would be a continuous circulation of misleading
data
. I am of the firm
beleif
Correct your spelling
belief
 that the benefits of using
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
social
media
 are far more than its
nagatives
Correct your spelling
negatives
negative
. These merits include improving the speed of reading
news
 and keeping in touch with relatives better than used to be.
Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, supporting your opinion with reasons.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Misinformation
  • Proliferation
  • Skew public opinion
  • Fact-checking
  • Authenticity
  • Misleading information
  • Regulation
  • Accountability
  • Media literacy
  • User discernment
What to do next:
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