Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Arts
and literature play an important role in the culture of a society
. Sometimes the
act as the status of the Correct your spelling
they
overall
cultural practice of a country. While
some people consider that spending money on the arts
is a loss project for the government, I strongly disagree with this
thinking as arts
have definitely a strong impact on the Correct article usage
the arts
socio-cultural
sector of a particular region.
Correct your spelling
sociocultural
Firstly
, practicing
art is not just related to painting or drawing. Rather, it Change the spelling
practising
also
deals with other activities like musics
, dramas, Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
literatures
, philosophy, politics and so on. So, it is true that Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
arts
are involved with many intellectual activites
which help a Correct your spelling
activities
society
to continue its development. For example
, dramas as well as
literatures
are often regarded as the mirror of a culture which Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
help
to illustrate the present Change the verb form
helps
sociao-economic
status and Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
as well as
the scopes
Fix the agreement mistake
scope
to
Change preposition
of
develop
.
Replace the word
development
Moreover
, people related to arts
often take these parctices
as their profession. Another matter of Correct your spelling
practices
the
fact is thatCorrect article usage
apply
,
people Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
in
this
sector require a lot of spare times
to stimulate their brains enough to create more positive Fix the agreement mistake
time
thinkings
and ideas. These ideas, Fix the agreement mistake
thinking
however
, may bring more creative works which can be used to represent the intellectual richness of the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. As a result
, the intellectuals do not get plenty
Correct word choice
much
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
of thinking
Change preposition
to think
of
their livelihood. So, Change preposition
about
obviously
they need enough support from the higher authority regarding Add a comma
obviously,
this
matter. For example
, a philosopher have
to invest most of his Change the verb form
has
times
to generate more philosophical views and ideas. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Nevertheless
, the arts
centres also
require a lot of economical
support in order to run their operations smoothly.
Replace the word
economic
Lastly
, spending on the arts
can not be just waste
of money as lots of intellectual minds and creative doings are essential to strengthen the boldness and superiority of a Correct article usage
a waste
society
. However
, it is the intellectuals who play a crucial role as the thinktanks
of a nation. So, spending on them is never a waste.
Correct your spelling
think tanks
To conclude
, in my opinion, The art sector should be financed by the government without any doubt in order to build a strong nation.Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate on the different aspects of art by providing more specific examples or case studies rather than general statements. This will make your arguments more compelling and improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the coherence by using clearer transition phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay opens with a clear introduction and concludes with a strong opinion in the conclusion, which gives the essay a nice symmetrical structure.
task achievement
You have shown a good understanding of the topic by acknowledging various forms of arts and their importance to society.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example