Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts #eleswhere

Arts

and literature play an important role in the culture of a

society

. Sometimes

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

act as the status of the

overall

cultural practice of a country.

While

some people consider that spending money on the

arts

is a loss project for the government, I strongly disagree with

this

thinking as

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

have definitely a strong impact on the

socio-cultural

Correct your spelling

sociocultural

show examples

sector of a particular region.

Firstly

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

art is not just related to painting or drawing. Rather, it

also

deals with other activities like

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

, dramas,

literatures

Change the wording

literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

, philosophy, politics and so on. So, it is true that

arts

are involved with many intellectual

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

which help a

society

to continue its development.

For example

, dramas

as well as

literatures

Change the wording

literature

kinds of literature

pieces of literature

works of literature

show examples

are often regarded as the mirror of a culture which

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

to illustrate the present

sociao-economic

Correct your spelling

socioeconomic

status and

as well as

the

scopes

Fix the agreement mistake

scope

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

develop

Replace the word

development

show examples

Moreover

, people related to

arts

often take these

parctices

Correct your spelling

practices

as their profession. Another matter of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fact is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

Change preposition

show examples

this

sector require a lot of spare

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to stimulate their brains enough to create more positive

thinkings

Fix the agreement mistake

thinking

show examples

and ideas. These ideas,

however

, may bring more creative works which can be used to represent the intellectual richness of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

As a result

, the intellectuals do not get

plenty

Correct word choice

much

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

of thinking

Change preposition

to think

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

their livelihood. So,

obviously

Add a comma

obviously,

show examples

they need enough support from the higher authority regarding

this

matter.

For example

, a philosopher

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to invest most of his

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

to generate more philosophical views and ideas.

Nevertheless

, the

arts

centres

also

require a lot of

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

support in order to run their operations smoothly.

Lastly

, spending on the

arts

can not be just

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of money as lots of intellectual minds and creative doings are essential to strengthen the boldness and superiority of a

society

However

, it is the intellectuals who play a crucial role as the

thinktanks

Correct your spelling

think tanks

show examples

of a nation. So, spending on them is never a waste.

To conclude

, in my opinion, The art sector should be financed by the government without any doubt in order to build a strong nation.

Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on Sun Nov 10 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate on the different aspects of art by providing more specific examples or case studies rather than general statements. This will make your arguments more compelling and improve the clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Consider improving the coherence by using clearer transition phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay opens with a clear introduction and concludes with a strong opinion in the conclusion, which gives the essay a nice symmetrical structure.

task achievement

You have shown a good understanding of the topic by acknowledging various forms of arts and their importance to society.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

348 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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