IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Topic: many people use distance-learning programs to study at home, but some think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending school, college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#topic #people #programs #study #home #think #school #college #university
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Nowadays, there are so many ways to learn or study, with the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology people can gain knowledge not only from offline but
also
 from online.
However
, others think that studying
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online might not get the same benefits
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 attending
school
, college or university.
Although
 many institutions still
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 online
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 to provide knowledge, I do think studying offline is still the best way.
Firstly
, attending
school
 is more effective
to communicate
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for communicating
show examples
 and
to learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 the subject with no additional cost.
For instance
, during
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
 in 2020 all of the
students
in
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at
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 any level
applies
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
school
Fix the infinitive
to school
show examples
 from home, they did an online class.
In contrast
, not all
students
 have the tools to access online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
, it was hard for the family
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 who lived in
suburban
Add an article
a suburban
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 area as
in
Correct word choice
apply
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they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 to provide
the
Correct article usage
a
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 laptop and
also
 the internet.
Secondly
,
students
 are required to finish their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
through
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apply
show examples
online and many families
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 difficulties.
For instance
,
also
 during covid in 2020
students
 in an elementary
school
 received their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 online and it required a lot of work. The parents need to print out the paper,
help
Correct word choice
and help
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 their children
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
finish the homework
also
 they need to
scanned
Wrong verb form
scan
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 and
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
 it back to the teachers. During that phase, many parents
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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complaint
Replace the word
complained
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 and felt
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
.
To conclude
, I believe studying online will not get the same benefits
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
 attending
school
, college or university since it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not effective.
Submitted by adedode on

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task achievement
Try to develop more balanced arguments by considering some potential advantages of online learning in certain situations.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical progression and connection between ideas to make your arguments more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction, which outlines the main argument, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the writer's point of view.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic, are used to support the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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