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Writing Samples
Band 6

A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employee works from home, using a computer and the Internet to connect with the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way? 250 words

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Nowadays some people prefer telecommuting, which is working from
home
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 using the internet and computer,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it offers more downsides than upsides. From my point of view, the benefits of working at
home
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 outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, telecommuting is becoming a more popular method of working. One of the main advantages of remote
work
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 is flexibility. To be more specific, when people
work
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 at
home
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 using their own computers and the internet to connect with
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 employees
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 manage their
work
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 time more effectively, which helps them achieve a better balance between
work
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 and personal lives. What is more, workers who live far away from their workplace can save their time and money since they lose much time and money for commuting to
work
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.
Moreover
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, remote
work
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 can reduce stress and increase productivity of employees, because they would
work
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 in their own comfortable place with all needs for the working process. Employers can
also
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 benefit as they would not spend earnings on offices and public utilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, telecommuting can reduce
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 communication and
teamworks
Correct your spelling
teamwork
, which in turn can lead to workers feeling isolated.
As a result
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, it would affect
overall
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 performance and motivation.
Furthermore
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, technical issues
such
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 as poor internet connection and computer problems may disrupt workers from their working process.
Additionally
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, it would be difficult for employees to maintain discipline and avoid any distractions at
home
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. In conclusion,
while
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 telecommuting provides flexibility and convenience, it
also
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 brings issues related to communication, discipline, and maintaining a
work
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-life balance.

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your introduction by briefly mentioning some specific disadvantages to set the stage effectively for your discussion.
task achievement
Try to ensure a more balanced approach by elaborating slightly more on the disadvantages in your body paragraphs, which could provide a clearer picture.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay and strengthen coherence.
task achievement
Make sure that all points are clearly substantiated with examples or explanations to enhance the reader’s understanding and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs for the advantages and disadvantages of telecommuting.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant and show a strong understanding of the topic, effectively communicating your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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