Mmany people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.
Relationship
with family, Fix the agreement mistake
Relationships
friends
, and colleagues play a crucial role in achieving individual happiness
, often more so than career and fortune. I firmly agree with this
statement as strong interpersonal connections
provide emotional support, foster a sense of belonging, and contribute to an overall
fulfilling life
.
First and foremost, communication with family and friends
is main
source of emotional support. In times of stress or difficulty, it is often our loved ones who rally around us to offer comfort and understanding. Change the article
the main
For instance
, during challenging life
events such
as job loss or health issues, having a supportive network can make all the difference. This
emotional backing not only helps individuals cope but also
instills
resilience, which is crucial for long-term Change the spelling
instils
happiness
. Moreover
, relationship helps to improve our life
. Engaging in social activities with Fix the agreement mistake
lives
friends
can lead to unforgettable moment
that create lasting memories. Fix the agreement mistake
moments
According to
research, People that have to
strong social Change preposition
apply
connections
report more happiness
than people who like to be alone.
On the contrary
, while
work and wealth
can offer temporary satisfaction or comfort such
as financial security or professional recognition, they do not guarantee lasting happiness
. Many individuals who achieve high levels of success in their carrers
may still feel unfulfilled if their personal Correct your spelling
careers
relationships
are lacking. For example
, a high-powered executive may find themselves lonely despite their financial achievements because they prioritise work over nurturing personal connections
. Furthermore
, The pursuit of wealth
can sometimes lead to unhealthy competition and stress. When individuals focus excessively on accumulating material possessions or climbing the corporate ladder, they may neglect their relationships
. This
imbalance can result in feelings of isolation and dissatisfaction over time. Happiness derived
firm Add a hyphen
Happiness-derived
wealth
is often fleeting. However
, the joy found in meaningful connections
tends to be more enduring.
In conclusion, while
work and wealth
are important aspects of life
that can provide comfort and opportunities for growth, they should not overshadow the significance of personal relationships
. Emotional support from family and friends
greatly influences our overall
happiness
by providing resilience during tough time
and enriching our lives through shared experiences. Ultimately, prioritizing Fix the agreement mistake
times
relationships
over material pursuits leads to a more meaningful and joyful existence.Submitted by Writing9 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Ensure there are no spelling errors like 'carrers' which should be 'careers' and 'prioritise' should consistently use either British or American spelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate paragraphs more clearly to emphasize transitions between different points.
task achievement
Consider providing a more explicit contrast between the benefits of relationships and the temporary nature of career and wealth-related happiness in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear and thoughtful introduction and conclusion, which effectively emphasize the main argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the high-powered executive, helps illustrate the negative impacts of prioritizing work over personal relationships.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a logical flow that guides the reader through the argument effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...