Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The contents of school
education
are continuing a debate hot topic. Some people
claims
Change the verb form
claim
show examples
that it is not useful as non-practical,
while
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others see their
borader
Correct your spelling
broader
border
benefits. I believe the things that are taught to the students are good
prepartion
Correct your spelling
preparation
for them with well-rounded learning. Some people think the teaching contents are not useful because it is not practical
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life. Rare subjects
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
included
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
education
plan in primary and secondary school.
For example
, History and Advanced Mathematics were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples that
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
useful
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the time. Learners
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
to apply
these knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
this knowledge
show examples
in daily
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
or work in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future, unless
who
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
in the future.
In contrast
, some citizens believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
education
in traditional
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curricula
is meaningful and necessary. Students should learn all subjects in different areas which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
various types of knowledge which can develop their interest in all of the area. I believe in
this
statement as there are so many subjects that were included in the learning process
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
very meaningful.
Such
as History
, Physical
Correct your spelling
and physical
Education
are both good ideas. Some of them may
thought
Change the verb form
think
show examples
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are rare to learn
throught
Correct your spelling
through
the things
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
before.
However
, listening and learning from different
historial
Correct your spelling
historical
events by understanding their purpose
why
Correct word choice
and why
show examples
they made those decisions can be extremely valuable. It is able to give them references when they make any decisions in their career.
Next,
Physical
Education
is providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
a good chance
of starting
Change preposition
to start
show examples
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
show examples
. Starting a sport when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
young can make it as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
usual and it is easier to keep in good physical level to stay healthy in the future. Meanwhile, giving a gate to express their pressure in the learning journey which from the effect of exercising. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
some people think some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
of studying are
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time as it is not practical, I think it is a good learning environment to cover all-rounded study to prepare
different
Change preposition
for different
show examples
types of
challenge
Change the form of the verb
challenges
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
providing case studies and good health.
Submitted by jeffrey24681 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Work on improving the logical structure and flow between paragraphs to make your arguments more coherent.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task adequately. You have discussed both views, but your own opinion could be made clearer.
grammatical range and accuracy
Proofread your work to catch and correct grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, which can obscure your ideas.
structure
Your essay includes clear paragraphs with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • social skills
  • well-rounded education
  • outdated curriculum
  • technological advancements
  • job market needs
  • subject relevance
  • career paths
  • diverse skill set
  • knowledge base
What to do next:
Look at other essays: