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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average number of years of education, by country between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average number of years of education, by country between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 graph depicts
general
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the general
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 amount of
years
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 spent on educational purposes by
male
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males
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 and
female
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females
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 respectively in two different countries, New
Zeland
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Zealand
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 and Korea.
Data
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The data
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 given above covers the span of 60
years
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, starting in 1950 and taking the end in 2010.
Overal
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Overall
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, it can be clearly seen that all indicators showed an increasing trend throughout the decades in each country for both genders. In 1950
average
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the average
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 number of
years
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 spent on education in Korea
have
Verb problem
was
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 composed
3
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of 3
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and 5
years
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 for females and males in the order given, demonstrating a steady increase and reaching the point of 11 and 12
years
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 in 2010. Taking into consideration information about New
Zeland
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Zealand
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,
indicators
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the indicators
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 in
graph
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the graph
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also
Linking Words
mantained
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maintained
 an
overal
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overall
grow
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growth
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, with man starting with a number of 8
years
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 in 1950 and ending up with 12
years
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 in 60
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years
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60-year
 period. The duration of women's education, in turn, increased from 7.5
years
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 to almost 12 in 1990, but
then
Linking Words
tendency
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the tendency
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 showed a slight decrease with female education lasting in general for 11
years
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 in the year 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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