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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation has become a serious issue in some big cities around the world. What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve the problems?

#overpopulation #cities #world
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To get a promotion in the workplace, workers do their best every single day.
This
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 is given to only those individuals who deserve it. So, these days it has become a debatable issue .
Thus
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, a few folks assume that it should be given to long-term employees.
However
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, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 some reasonable points which will be discussed as follows.
Initially
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, no doubt, labourers who have been running the firms for a long time have the right to get achievements first because their dedication is more than newcomers or short-term workers. But, owners of companies should look at their tasks, achievements, and feedback towards the job. Only these skills can decide who needs a higher position.
Secondly
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, we can not ignore the experience of older staff but, some individuals are well qualified with appropriate certificates and other achievements
instead
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 of work experience which would increase the economy and name of the business.
Then
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, definitely, employers should give them preference.
Moreover
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,
sometime
Correct your spelling
sometimes
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 recently hiring people are more creative and they know how to get profits and have
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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of
Change preposition
for
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 new marketing which would surge the chances of success. So, they should
also
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 consider for promotion. On the flip side, In conclusion,
according to
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 me, authorities should decide
according to
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 the
worker
Change noun form
worker's
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 background and skills.
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

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suggestion
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Examples help illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
suggestion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly explained and comprehensively cover the topic. This can help achieve a more balanced and comprehensive task response.
highlight
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your arguments.
highlight
You have acknowledged different viewpoints in the introduction, which engages readers and demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overpopulation
  • urbanization
  • slums
  • sanitation facilities
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution levels
  • public services
  • decentralized development
  • population pressure
  • rural areas
  • public transportation systems
  • affordable housing
  • urban poor
  • family planning
  • reproductive health services
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