some cities , public parks and pen spaces changed to garden for local people to grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think is benefits more than disantages?

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In few cities have
start
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started
show examples
to change the public parks and open areas to gardens , let
people
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can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
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,
such
Linking Words
as
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fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
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and
vegetables
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. I think
this
Linking Words
idea will cause out great benefit than the disadvantages. For the first
point
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, it can be more health. The local
people
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can choose the positive way to grow their own
fruit
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and
vegetables
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, adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy fertiliser, like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eggshells and great soil.
Reduse
Correct your spelling
Reduce
the worry about the
food
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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adding some bad elements for
grow
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growth
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which are selling outside.
Second
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The second
show examples
point
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, it can be more suitable
to
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for
show examples
people
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.
People
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can choose to grow what kind of
fruit
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and
vegetables
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, it can link to their
hobits
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habits
show examples
and favour.
Such
Linking Words
as the sports
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
can grow some
vegetables
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and
fruit
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for making
joices
Correct your spelling
juices
juice
and
salas
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sales
Salas
, growing
strewberries
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strawberries
who love it.
Poeple
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People
can have more
chose
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choices
show examples
to choose
.
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from.
show examples
Third
point
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, it can earn money by selling
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
grow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fruit
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and
vegetables
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. After the
fruit
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and
vegetables
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are
grew
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
, the local
people
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can sell them to each other and even the visitors.
Make
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Take
show examples
a
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an
show examples
example from
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
will sell their own
grow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
goods
at
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in
show examples
the centre of the city,
such
Linking Words
as near the market,
those
Correct word choice
and those
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produces
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produce
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will be
more
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apply
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cheaper than the
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
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at the shopping market. And the
sell
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selling
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point
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is ' organic own grow
vegetables
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and
fruit
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'. The
last
Linking Words
point
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is local
people
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can eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
friut
Correct your spelling
fruit
fruits
and
vegetables
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by getting
at
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to
show examples
their gardens. They can get the
food
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when they want to eat.
Because sometimes
Correct word choice
Sometimes
show examples
we put the
fruit
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and
vegetables
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at home for a long time after
bougth
Correct your spelling
buying
them, the reason is ready the
food
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frist
Correct your spelling
first
for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
want to eat and can buy it. To sum
of
Change preposition
up of
show examples
above points, we can see that it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
out many advantages, are benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. They can eat the fresh
fruit
Use synonyms
and
vegrtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
which are growing.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve sentence structure and clarify ideas. Use varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to strengthen arguments.
language
Work on refining grammar and vocabulary use to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of gardens in public parks.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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