Some people think that public libraries are not necessary, whereas others believe that they are essential for people. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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In
this
Linking Words
fast moving
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fast-moving
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generation, few
individuals
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believes
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believe
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that
government authorised
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government-authorised
show examples
free
libraries
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are not required,
ont
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on
the other hand, many
believes
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believe
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that it is important. In
mynopinion
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my opinion
, government
libraries
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playn
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play
plays
vital
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a vital
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role in
overall
Linking Words
development. Few
individuals
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strongly
perceives
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perceive
show examples
that
,
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apply
show examples
public
libraries
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are not required and it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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of
people
Use synonyms
’s money. Because,
according to
Linking Words
them,
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
less number of
people
Use synonyms
are using
publice
Correct your spelling
public
libraries
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. Not only it
requires
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require
show examples
lot
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a lot
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of funding for
it’s
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its
show examples
smooth running operation but
also
Linking Words
it is always empty on weekdays. As per the research of
Toronto
Correct article usage
the Toronto
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public library
Correct your spelling
Public Library
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, only 2.5% of
population
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the population
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of Toronto
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city
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City
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is interested in its expansion. Apart from that, most
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
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who participated in
this
Linking Words
research were using
Toronto
Correct article usage
the Toronto
show examples
public
Capitalize word
Public
show examples
library. For these reasons, some
people
Use synonyms
think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
public
libraries
Use synonyms
should not be an essential need. In contradiction, remaining
individuals
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think that public
libraries
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are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important aspect of any developed
city
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.
According to
Linking Words
them, public
libraries
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stored and kept
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city’s
Correct article usage
the city’s
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brief history. If anyone wants to know about
historical
Correct article usage
the historical
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and geographical development of
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city
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the city
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, they should be able to easily find
at
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apply
show examples
one common place, which is
public
Add an article
the public
a public
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library.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, public
libraries
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
stored
Wrong verb form
store
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new technological advancements and
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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. Apart from that, many
over aged
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overaged
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individuals
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, who are currently retired,
likes
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like
show examples
to spend quality time and read books. For
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
show examples
reasons,
most
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the most
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
think that it is mandatory for any developed
city
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion, few
people
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argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that public
libraries
Use synonyms
are not essential,
whereas
Linking Words
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
one strongly believes that they are compulsory, In my opinion, public
libraries
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should be compulsory for any
city
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or town because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
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and
kept
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
Use synonyms
city’s
Correct article usage
the city’s
show examples
cultural, historical and geographical development.
Submitted by aryannai0002 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on both views with additional examples or points. This can help in achieving a fuller and more complete response to the task.
task achievement
Be sure to develop your points with clear, comprehensive ideas. Avoid generalizations like 'very less number of people' and instead use precise language.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs for a stronger logical structure. This will help in making your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction by providing a balanced overview that hints at your conclusion, which will give more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link ideas explicitly in paragraphs, using cohesive devices to help your argument follow through clearly and logically.
task achievement
Good attempt to introduce both views and a personal opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear contrast between the two views, maintaining focus on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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