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Writing Samples
Band 7

Parents should be punished for the crimes of their children. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays,
crimes
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 can be committed by anyone, including
children
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.
However
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, I strongly disagree with those who feel that
parents
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 should be punished if their
children
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 commit
crimes
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.
Firstly
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, punishing
parents
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 for the
crimes
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 committed by their
children
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 is unfair. In fact, criminal behaviours are influenced by various factors
such
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 as environment, peer pressure and social media. Punishing
parents
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 for their
children
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's
actions
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 is inequitable. It is well known that criminal behaviour is affected by external factors, which are beyond parental control, especially when
children
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 are outside parental supervision.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 can't fully be blamed for the crime acts committed by their son.
Secondly
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,
children
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 must take
responsibility
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 for their criminal
actions
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.
Children
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 who have reached a certain age,
such
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 as teenagers, should be able to differentiate between good and bad things and be responsible for their
actions
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.
For instance
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, when a teenager is caught stealing from a shop,
this
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 case is seriously criminal category, so the teenagers must take
responsibility
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 for their
actions
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 without involving their
parents
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.
Moreover
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, punishing their
parents
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 for the
crimes
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 can lead to decreasing
children
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's
responsibility
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 because they think their
parents
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 will take
responsibility
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 for their
actions
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 which leads to destroying their morals and maturity.
Therefore
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,
children
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 must be punished for their criminal
actions
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. In conclusion, punishing
parents
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 for their
children
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’s
actions
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 has negative effects because it is unfair to
parents
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 and can lead to destroying
children
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's morale and maturity. I,
therefore
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, remain firmly convinced that
parents
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 shouldn't be punished if their
children
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 commit criminal
actions
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.

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task achievement
Ensure examples are specific and varied to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Maintain the flow using varied linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to show balanced views.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear, concise introduction and a strong conclusion.
logical structure
Logical structure with paragraphs that flow well together.
supported main points
Main points are mostly well-supported by arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • responsibility
  • supervision
  • guidance
  • child development
  • maturity
  • societal influences
  • environmental factors
  • criminal behavior
  • legal implications
  • ethical considerations
  • unjust punishment
  • educational programs
  • support systems
  • youth crime prevention
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