The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown

Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how

satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main

features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line chart illustrates the
percentage
of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
that owned electrical appliances and the number of hours of
housework
,
such
as washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning per week from 1920 to 2019. The data is calibrated in both numbers and
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
. I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
features with relevant comparisons
further
.
Overall
, it can be observed that as the
percentage
of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
with electrical appliances rose, the amount of time people spent doing
housework
decreased per week during the period between 1920 and 2019.
To begin
with, the
percentage
of refrigerator
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and rocketed to 90% in 1960, which
them
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
at 100% for the rest of the period. Afterwards, having a vacuum cleaner was slightly the same. 30% of households had a vacuum cleaner cleaner in 1920, yet after experiencing a sufficient rise, 100% of them owned one in 2000.
Further
analysing the paragraph, owning a washing machine rose gradually till 1960 and
then
it dipped in 1989 and
continuous
Replace the word
continued
show examples
to grow till 2019. Moving ahead to the
housework
, in 1920 average
housework
per week
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
approximately 50 hours per household.
However
, as advanced gadgets
begins
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
to
became
Change the verb
become
show examples
popular, the average work diminishes and
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just 10 hours
weekly
Change preposition
of weekly
show examples
work.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, housework with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
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