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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

.Some people think that the amount of noise people may have to be controlled strictly. Others, however, say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #amount #noise
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In modern society, there are two different perspectives regarding whether the amount of
noise
Use synonyms
 should be carefully regulated or not.
While
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 there are some advantages to
people
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 being allowed to be noisy whenever they want, I believe that, on some occasions, controlling the loud sounds is usually more beneficial for
Correct article usage
the publics
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publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
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. On the one hand, it could be argued by some
people
Use synonyms
 that imposing restrictions on making
noise
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 may infringe on
people
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’s fundamental
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
, as each individual has their own right to express whatever they like.
This
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 may even lead to incidents of resistance and conflict.
Additionally
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, they argue that
noise
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 is beneficial for certain situations.
For instance
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, in sports events, celebratory activities, and live concerts, making
noise
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 enables
people
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 to immerse themselves fully in the events, unleash their enthusiasm, and create a lively atmosphere.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who have opposite views believe that being exposed to
noisy
Add an article
a noisy
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 environment,
such
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 as the consistent decoration
noise
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 from neighbours, can be extremely disruptive
for
Change preposition
to
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 other’s normal lives.
Furthermore
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, frequent human activities are a major
contribution
Replace the word
contributor
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 that leads to
noise
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 pollution.
For example
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, the bustling sounds in crowded public places are significant sources of
noise
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 that cannot be ignored. In my opinion, there are
further
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 negative impacts of these noisy sounds to consider. Long-term exposure to noisy
environment
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environments
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 can be detrimental to both physical and mental health.
Firstly
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, the impact of
noise
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 on hearing is significant, and may even lead to deafness.
Senconly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, it
also
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 results in sleep disorders, as
people
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 are exposed to loud sounds
while
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 sleeping.
This
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 not only affects the quality of rest but
also
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 leads to drowsiness and fatigue.
Finally
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,
noise
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 is harmful to the cardiovascular system. Research in China indicates that for every additional decibel of
noise
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, the incidence of hypertension increases by 3%.
Therefore
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, controlling the
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
noise
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 is essential. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of setting regulations on acceptable
noise
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 levels in public places do outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by 18126275033 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to explain all your points explicitly so that they are easily understood by the reader.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and clearly state the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the issue and provided a clear opinion, fulfilling the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow and well-structured paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
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