IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
education
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 systems must decide which
subjects
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 are most valuable for children’s development. Some people believe that
art
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 is an essential subject in schools,
while
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 others argue that it is a waste of time that could be spent on more practical
subjects
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. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support
art
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education
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 provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent benefits is that
art
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 helps children develop creativity and emotional expression. To illustrate, artistic activities encourage students to think imaginatively and communicate ideas in non-verbal ways.
For instance
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, children who engage in drawing, music, or drama may develop confidence and problem-solving skills that are useful in many areas of life, including academic study and future careers. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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 have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that schools already face limited time and resources, and
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics, science, and language may be seen as more directly useful for employment. To clarify, some parents worry that spending too much time on artistic
subjects
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 may reduce students’ performance in core academic areas.
For example
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, in highly competitive
education
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 systems, students may need to focus on exam
subjects
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 in meaning to secure university places and job opportunities. To recapitulate, it is evident that some people consider
art
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 essential because it promotes creativity and personal development,
while
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 others believe it diverts attention from more practical
subjects
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. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that
art
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 should remain an important part of school
education
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, as it supports balanced development and equips children with skills that extend beyond academic achievement.

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structure
Plan your essay with a quick map. Start with a short intro that says what you will discuss. End with a clear view.
vocabulary
Use simple words from common daily talk. Avoid long or hard words. Keep ideas easy to read.
content
Give one strong view at the end and explain why. Use a quick, direct sentence.
structure
Clear layout: intro, two body parts, and a short ending.
coherence
Ideas are easy to follow and stay on task.
content
The essay shows both sides with examples like art helps and exam pressure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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