Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #animals

Nowadays, the

zoo

plays versatile roles in society and it attracts humans to visit. For

this

kind of institution, some people state people can not place them in the enclosure because it is malevolent

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

However

, others have different opinions, they feel the

zoo

is a good place for wild

creatures

and it provides protection. Dissenters who argue against the

zoo

think humanity is

self-centered

Change the spelling

self-centred

show examples

and they just want to close a variety of species to let visitors observe and enjoy different animals' appearances and manners.

Additionally

, they feel sympathy for

creatures

that are captivated in the limited space and

besides

, they are like prisoners who are held in jails. As far as I am concerned, admittedly speaking, it is one of the defects that the

zoo

holds, but it is trivial if comparing the dedication of the

zoo

On the other hand

, people who argue for the

zoo

support the existence of

this

organization because it protects endangered animals and it

also

allows the public to acknowledge various living beings in far regions of the world simultaneously.

Furthermore

, visiting the

zoo

has an educational function, it lets the masses know about

creatures

' habitats, origins, and difficulties they face currently, whereby whether adults or children can

further

learn about sundry environmental issues and it may raise the public's awareness of the need for conservation.

Secondly

, the

zoo

also

plays another role. The

zoo

is often responsible for experimenting and breeding wild animals artificially in an effort to broaden the number of wild groups.

Moreover

, all zoos around the globe collaborate with each other, they usually deliver disadvantaged

creatures

to other regions after assessments to spread the number of individuals.

Accordingly

, I think zoos not only offer value in education but

also

their work is in favour of reserving living beings. In a nutshell,

although

the topic of the

zoo

in some aspects is controversial and some human beings still doubt if we really need the

zoo

, the

zoo

gradually became a consensus that it can contribute to the restoration of ecology to some extent and

also

arouse the multitude's consciousness for our environment.

Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on Mon Nov 04 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points and make them more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on ensuring smooth transitions between ideas to maintain the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives on the topic of zoos.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the argument well.

Task Achievement

You have effectively highlighted the educational and conservational roles of zoos.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes What is the reason for this Is this a positive or negative development

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others think that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion