All students ought to study art and music in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Education plays a crucial
parts
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part
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of
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in
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people's lives. Nowadays, many
school
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schools
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required
Wrong verb form
require
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their
students
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to study
art
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and
music
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,
while
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many parents consider it
as
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apply
show examples
a useless
things
Correct the article-noun agreement
thing
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that
wasting
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wastes
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time.
Nevertheless
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, I would say that studying
art
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and
music
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in school
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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completely beneficial for
students
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for some
reason
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reasons
show examples
that are set out below. For many people, studying
art
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and
music
Use synonyms
subjects is time-consuming and should
be abolish
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be abolished
show examples
. It is said that for
students
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heavily involved in
art
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and
music
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subjects,
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while
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apply
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balancing with other academic responsibilities may be challenging.
First,
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I would argue that studying
art
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and
music
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may help
students
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to
enhances
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enhance
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their creativity and self-expression. A good example of
this
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is
this
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subject could encourage
students
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to think creatively, develop their ideas, and express themselves in unique ways. It is generally accepted that many people argue that studying
art
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and
music
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is a useless
things
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thing
show examples
,
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apply
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since the creative industry has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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limited job security. Many parents argue that the job opportunities in these fields are often competitive and financially uncertain. In fact, nowadays the creative industry experienced
a
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apply
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rapid growth with the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
of digital media, streaming platforms, and social media.
Also
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, it is noticed that the demand for creative professionals
such
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as graphic designers, animators, content creators, and musicians increased.
For instance
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, the
art
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and
music
Use synonyms
industries offer a wide range of career opportunities that are stable and profitable. In conclusion, studying
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
in school may bring many advantages for
students
Use synonyms
, because it enables them to improve their cognitive skills and creativity
while
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studying.

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grammar
Try to avoid grammatical errors such as plural forms and article usage (e.g., 'a useless things' should be 'useless things').
content
Clarify the main points in your paragraphs to make your argument more compelling. For example, you could elaborate more on why creativity and self-expression are important.
language
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the overall fluency of your writing.
content
The focus on the benefits of studying art and music is clear and relevant to the prompt, showing good engagement with the topic.
coherence
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.
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