IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
The First
table
 shows
statistic
Replace the word
statistical
show examples
 rates of police
budget’s
Change noun form
budget
show examples
 sources in Britain, between 2017-2018 in
Add an article
a
show examples
specific
realm
Fix the agreement mistake
realms
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the second charts below show how it was
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
. İt is clear that all data of 2018
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
higher than
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 of 2017.
However
, the
table
 has 3
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
 bar. They are National Government, Local Taxes,
Other
Correct word choice
and Other
show examples
 sources. The National Government rates are top
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
table
, each of 2017 and 2018. Their budgets are around 175.5m- 178.0.m
dolars
Correct your spelling
dollars
. Local Taxes follow behind of National Government. The rate of 2017
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 up to 102.3m. Before the 2018, it was 91.2m.
Dolars
Correct your spelling
Dollars
.
On the other hand
, Other sources are lowest place in the
table
.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
,it is
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
 up to half
million
Correct article usage
a million
show examples
 in 2018. Totally bar shows
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 numbers in the
table
. We can notice the total
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2017 to 2018.
However
, The chart below shows,
salarys
Correct your spelling
salaries
 are
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
 source of the below. İt is over the rate of half. On the other side, Building and transport
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 rate
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 technology is
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 source in the below. In conclusion
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 The
pragraph
Correct your spelling
paragraph
 has
Table
Correct article usage
a Table
show examples
 and Chart below, and I compared
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Britain’s budget in the essay.
Submitted by turkogluahmetonur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words table with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: