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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Pie chart bellow give information about the house hold expenditures of an average vs family in different years. summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features

Pie chart bellow give information about the house hold expenditures of an average vs family in different years. summarizes the information by selecting and reporting the main features
#bellow #information #house #expenditures #years #features
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The line graph compares the
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of garbage,which was
manufacturured
Correct your spelling
manufactured
 by three different countries during the years
of
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apply
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2000 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that with the passage of time, both Blue and Green Companies reduced their rubbish,
while
Linking Words
 that was inclined by Orange
Company
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,the Blue
Company
Use synonyms
 stood at
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
a maximum
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 amount of litter manufacturing with 12
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other two
oraganizations
Correct your spelling
organisations
begun
Add the auxiliary verb
began
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 with just below 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the Green
Company
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 experienced a
steadily increased
Replace the word
steady increase
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 of that
of
Change preposition
apply
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to approximately 10
tonnes
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 in the year 2005,before
hit
Wrong verb form
hitting
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 a law of 3
tonnes
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 in 2015.
In addition
Linking Words
,
dramati
Correct your spelling
dramatic
colapsed
Correct your spelling
collapsed
collapse
 was witnessed by the Blue Co-operation,which plunged to 9
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2015.In comparison,the Blue
Company
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prouduced
Correct your spelling
produced
 more
dump
Fix the agreement mistake
dumps
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 than 6
tonnes
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, compared to the team Green in the year 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
.Orange
Company
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 had a drastic growth in the time period.It started at nearly
at
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apply
show examples
4
tonnes
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 of rubbish and dramatically increased
closely
Change the word
close
show examples
 to 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ranpuluk on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tonnes, company with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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