You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six- year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • explain why you would like the job • give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #six- #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

I am writing to you to inform you and express my interest that I would like to be considered for the position you are offering. I have seen your advertisement in an Australian magazine and decided to contact you. I am quite passionate about babysitting because I have always wanted a little brother or sister, but my parents could not afford the cost of having another baby. I have taken care of different babies in my country which has been my primary occupation since I was 18.

Also

, in order to have better career prospects, I have obtained a First Aid certificate that would be pretty beneficial in times of crisis or earthquakes.

Nonetheless

, I am really patient, thoughtful and polite. I have planned to spend my free time there. I would like to go surfing on the weekends, and during the week, I am keen on going for a walk outside, meeting new people and learning more about Australian culture. I would be really grateful if you gave me

this

opportunity to live with you and take care of your baby in the best way I have learned. I look forward to hearing from you. I will provide my Phone number and please feel free to ask if you need any

further

details. Kind regards, John Rosh

Submitted by bb_emperator on Fri Feb 16 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure you clearly address all parts of the prompt. While your letter mentions your interest and qualifications for the job, as well as plans for your free time, consider expanding on these elements with more specific examples or experiences to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance your Coherence and Cohesion by structuring your letter with clear paragraphing, each dedicated to a specific part of the prompt. Use a variety of connectors and cohesive devices to smoothly link ideas within and between paragraphs. Consider adding an introductory sentence to each paragraph to guide the reader through your letter more effectively.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

218 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

advertisement
live with
look after
six-year-old child
suitable
employ
free time
Australia

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