Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, more and more
animals
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have become at risk of extinction. The cause of
this
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is largely related to human activity.
Therefore
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, the solutions rely on us taking action and changing our behaviours.
This
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essay will look at the main reasons for the loss of wildlife and propose some possible ways of resolving them. One primary cause for the greater number of
animals
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becoming endangered is the destruction of
animals
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' habitats for commercial reasons.
For example
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, many trees in Borneo forests have been cut down
due to
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the needs of giant wood-product industries, making more
animals
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lose their shelters and sources of food.
Thus
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,
this
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deforestation exacerbates the extinction of endangered wild species and poses a risk to those that are still ubiquitous; they could become rare. A possible way to tackle
this
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problem is by raising wood-based companies' taxes.
Although
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taxes are often unpopular, they may be the only way of restricting the amount of wood they use,
therefore
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reducing massive deforestation to preserve wildlife.
Furthermore
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, a second cause would be the pollution of the oceans. Many
sea
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creatures suffer from unrestricted human littering habits, polluting the
sea
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with plastics and other harmful items.
For instance
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, plastics thrown in the
sea
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contain microplastics that make turtles less fertile, decreasing their reproduction rates.
This
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activity is clearly detrimental and opens the possibility of whole species being wiped out. One prospective counter-attempt is by passing laws. Despite some critics arguing that it might be too complex and hardly achieved because it needs international collaborations, it seems to be the only choice for regulating irresponsible garbage management practices by punishing those who carelessly manage their waste. In turn, restricting
sea
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garbage disposal makes more
sea
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creatures' offspring emerge, putting them at no risk of vanishing. In conclusion, a growing number of wildlife is being threatened by mankind's activity, and it is up to humans to solve
this
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problem. The destruction of
animals
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' habitats and pollution of the oceans are the main factors in
this
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issue. To solve
this
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, we need to increase taxes on wood companies and increase restrictions on irresponsible waste management practices. It is my view that, with global cooperation, many of these species can be saved.

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Vocabulary
Ensure a diversity of vocabulary to enhance readability. Consider using synonyms for frequently repeated words like 'endangered' or 'wildlife.'
Coherence & Cohesion
Though your ideas are well-connected, consider adding more linking words for enhanced fluency between paragraphs.
Introduction
The essay presents a clear introduction, effectively setting up the topic and outlining the structure.
Task Achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples, such as those related to deforestation and ocean pollution.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively synthesizes the essay's arguments and reiterates the importance of taking action.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay showcases a logical progression of ideas, guiding the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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