Some scientists believe that in the future computers will be more intelligence than human beings. While some see this as a positive development others worry about the negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some researchers think that
technology
will be more intelligent than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings in the near future.
While
some individuals
think
Add the particle
think to
show examples
consider it as a positive development in case of getting prompt solutions, put
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
efforts and of course increase the productivity of the company
whereas
others think that
this
trend may
hault
Correct your spelling
halt
the economic growth, increase the reliability and having technical faults may put the life of human beings is in danger. For me, a balanced
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
valuable by recognizing the benefits of
computer
intelligence
and by careful management of
this
technology
. On the one hand, artificial
intelligence
could lead to advancements in medical and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business professions where they can
use
this
technology
to get immediate results by solving tasks,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
medicines and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
this
technology
in those areas where human life is in danger. So, to perform the tasks effectively and
effficiently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
they can
use
technology
without occuring any
error
Fix the agreement mistake
errors
show examples
.
For instance
, in the USA, almost 2,50,000
people
died
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die
show examples
every year because of
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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medical errors. They
use
La
Correct article usage
the La
show examples
Vinci Surgical robot, a
multi armed
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multi-armed
show examples
wonderbot to reduce surgical errors and make the surgery less invasive for patients.
Moreover
,
human
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humans
show examples
needs
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need
show examples
to give
simply
Change the word
simple
show examples
instructions to
these smarter
Change the determiner
this smarter computer
these smarter computers
show examples
computer
which not only helps
the
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apply
show examples
individuals to become more competitive by improving the methods of productivity but
also
they can
use
their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
to become more creative.
On the other hand
,
people
argued that
this
trend may prosper the negative growth in the country. As we know,
people
can face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job displacement when
computer
machines may take the role of those positions which human beings want to fill. In
this
way,
people
will become unemployed and their standard of living will be lower.
Consequently
,
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
will face economic disruption everywhere if
computer
intelligence
gain
Change the verb form
gains
show examples
popularity than humans.
For example
, Goldman
Saches
Correct your spelling
Sachs
show examples
forecast
Wrong verb form
forecasts
show examples
that AI software could automate the equivalent of 300 million full-time roles globally by 2030. Another point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
can increase their dependency on using
this
software and without using their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
they simply rely on
this
advancement for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better results. But sometimes,
techinical
Correct your spelling
technical
fault
Fix the agreement mistake
faults
show examples
may
occured
Correct your spelling
occur
occurred
due to
unforeseen circumstances which may
harsh
Correct your spelling
hash
show examples
the productivity level of the company. To recapitulate,
Computer
intelligence
is preferable because of having instant results, no need to do
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
and
also
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enhancing the profitability of the organization but job displacement, increasing dependency and some technical issues may impact the
overall
growth. In my point of view, a balanced approach should be preferred by including the pros of
computer
intelligence
and
also
by managing
this
technology
cautiously.
Submitted by kaurjagdeep2097 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Some parts of the essay feel slightly disjointed and could benefit from a clearer structure.
Task Response
Ensure all ideas are fully developed with relevant examples. Some arguments could use more elaboration to strengthen the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between ideas. Linking sentences and transitions between paragraphs can help in achieving a smoother progression of arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summing up both sides of the argument well.
Task Achievement
The argument is balanced, considering both the potential positive and negative impacts of computer intelligence.
Task Achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the use of La Vinci Surgical robot and Goldman Sachs forecast, which help illustrate the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Automation
  • Job displacement
  • Data analysis
  • Economic growth
  • Superintelligence
  • Creative endeavours
  • Ethical concerns
  • Existential risk
  • Technology dependency
  • Privacy issues
  • Innovative solutions
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