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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
There is no denying the fact that allocating cash is essential for everyone ,especially for young
people
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the future is difficult to guarantee how we could save
money
, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that definitely, it is a significant part of life and we must to aware our kids about it.
To begin
 with, these days, the majority of
people
 do not think about their future and they tend to waste their
money
.
In other words
, entertainment activity is everywhere
therefore
, the collect
money
 is challenging for young
people
 .
In addition
, there are several ways to earn and save your cash.
For example
, the banks provide citizens with a Program called Protection of Your Savings and there is a ratio of Profit. Another Point to consider, recently, life requirements have increased
such
 as owning a house or a car incurs a lot of
money
. It is
also
 possible to say that marriage requires an immense budget to provide a wedding and a honeymoon.
Moreover
, E-commerce gives us a substantial opportunity to earn and save our funds like, there are apps that calculate your expenses and obligations, so you can save your
money
.
For instance
, on
Correct your spelling
smartphone
smarts phone
smartphones
smartsphone
Correct your spelling
smartphones
, there is an app called Your Future, which helps you to conserve your cash and it does not allow us to act on it. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views، I tend to believe that
money
 is crucial to saving it and I could not agree more with
this
 statement
due to
 a better life and living with your family happy and without debts.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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Clear Ideas
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas. Simplify complex sentences to make your points clearer.
Coherence
Work on coherence by improving the connections between your paragraphs. Use more linking words to indicate relationships between ideas.
Language Proficiency
Include more varied sentence structures to improve fluency and engage the reader.
Structure
You have included a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument clearly.
Specific Examples
Using specific examples, such as the bank programs and e-commerce apps, makes your points more tangible and relatable.
Task Achievement
You have effectively communicated the importance of saving money and its impact on life goals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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