Most government money should be invested in teaching science rather than any other subjects in order for a country to develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the majority of the money that belongs to the government is suitable to be invested in
science
, while
others believe that other aspects should be taught for a homeland to thrive. This
essay will discuss why I strongly agree that all subjects
are equally crucial for the fulfilment and success of all nations.
On the one hand, investing money owned by governments in science
has a significant impact on production and innovation, which, as a result
, will lead countries
to function efficiently and have excellent reputations among other countries
. Moreover
, being known for having advancements in science
will help the economy. Furthermore
, countries
focused on science
are more likely to import their ideas so that other countries
can implement them. For instance
, Japan has been known to have advancements in technology and research. Thus
, it delivers all necessary information to adjacent countries
, providing a revenue source for Japan.
On the other hand
, countries
that ensure science
, literature, history, geography, mathematics and other subjects
are embedded in the curriculum of schools
material and part of standardised teaching methods in universities, are more likely to achieve success in various areas. Fix the agreement mistake
school
Nevertheless
, exposure to all those subjects
is not enough to reach a high ranking. For instance
, the United States has a universal power over other countries
because it studies them theoretically and puts them into practice. Therefore
, it is necessary to delve into those subjects
practically to get the most benefit out of them.
In conclusion, for the government's income to be spent only on science
may have some benefits. However
, it is more important to examine the various subjects
. Moreover
, putting those subjects
into use will help achieve great results.Submitted by alamer_ma on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and covers a range of ideas regarding the role of various subjects in a nation's development. However, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis.
Task Achievement
Providing more concrete examples and expanding on them could strengthen your arguments. For instance, the discussion on the importance of multiple subjects could benefit from more specific instances or studies to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, try using transitional phrases and connectors more effectively to guide the reader through your argument. Words like 'additionally,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' can help to link ideas smoothly.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
Your introduction is succinct and clearly outlines your stance, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
You have included a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points, reiterating your stance clearly.
Supported Main Points
You provide relevant arguments about the importance of having various subjects in the curriculum, thus showing a balanced view on the topic.
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