IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

(Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It's a good idea to send homework assignments for students during summer breaks) examples and reasons.

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There is no denying the fact that
students
Use synonyms
 should do useful activities on summer vacations.
while
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 it is a commonly held belief that children should enjoy the holidays
instead
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 of spending their time doing boring tasks like homework assignments, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the point of summer breaks is to have enough time for hobbies and exploring yourself.
To begin
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 with,
students
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 especially high school and college
students
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 face a lot of pressure during school days.
In other words
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, having a fully scheduled and long to-do list during the year is a lot of stress and pressure that may cause a lot of mental health problems.
In addition
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,
students
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 need to have more rest and joy during the holidays to balance their lifestyle.
For example
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, visiting family and friends or travelling to a new country is a good idea for disconnecting from studying stress. Another point to consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is if
students
Use synonyms
 receive homework during summer it will distract them from exploring themselves away from the education system and the job market standards.
Moreover
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, we should encourage children and teenagers to create their own vision and to focus on their personal development to achieve their own goals. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we should give the youth enough space to live in their way away from all the school's tasks and requirements.
Also
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, we should help teenagers to be more authentic and creative, by giving them control over their free time
instead
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 of putting them in a strict system.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced view by acknowledging the opposing perspective without dismissing it. This would strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking phrases to improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can help reinforce logical connections and enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or anecdotes to support your points, especially when discussing personal development and exploration. This will make your arguments more relatable and convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint, and your thesis is well-articulated.
Task Achievement
You have demonstrated awareness of the mental health challenges students face, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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