Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

There are different
perspective
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perspectives
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about the
porpuse
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purpose
of the
art
subject in the school
calsses
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classes
. Some believe that the
art
subject is significant in education level for
children
,
while
others believe it is a misuse of time. In
this
essay, I will discuss both of the
view points
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viewpoints
show examples
and provide a reasonable clarification. On the one hand,
art
is
essential
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an essential
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subject as it
help
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helps
show examples
children
to differentiate between
colors
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colours
show examples
, which can help improve their insight, they can
also
learn the three main
colors
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colours
show examples
and how to create other
colors
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colours
show examples
from
mix
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mixing
show examples
them up.
Children
han
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can
also
discover new factors that are used to construct bigger things and use them to build a smaller copy of them,
this
step
help
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helps
show examples
them gain knowledge,
as
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and as
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they grow they use it to
achive
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achieve
bigger inventions.
For instance
, they learn how pottery
bottle
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bottles
show examples
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are build
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build
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built
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by
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with
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clay and water
then
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and then
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create a small cup in
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a similiar
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similiar
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similar
way.
On the other hand
, teaching
art
can never be a waste of time as most
of
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apply
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jobs and
businesses
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businesses'
business's
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success depend on
art
and creativity nowadays.
A marketing
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Marketing
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and
designing
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design
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majors are opened because of the importance of
art
.
Additionally
, the primary reason
of
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for
show examples
attracing
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attracting
costumers
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customers
show examples
is
an
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apply
show examples
artistry
advertisments
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advertisements
, so teaching
art
for
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to
show examples
the
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apply
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children
generatins
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generates
lead
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leads
show examples
to more innovation and
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a succesful
show examples
succesful
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successful
community. In conclusion,
While
the
art
material class can be replaced with more
benificial
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beneficial
classes, its advantages can not be ignored, since it
help
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helps
show examples
kids explore and educate about the technical
aspect
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aspects
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in
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of
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life and
teach
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teaches
show examples
them the skills needed in the future job market.
Submitted by danall1kat on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a fairly complete response to the task, but it would be beneficial to further elaborate on the opposing viewpoint about art being a waste of time. Adding more specific examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smoothly handled to enhance the coherence of your essay. Try to use more varied linking words to improve cohesion.
language accuracy
Revise sentences to improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency would make the essay clearer and demonstrate higher language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, demonstrating a well-balanced view.
task achievement
Main points are effectively supported with examples related to art's significance, such as creating colors and preparing for the job market.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • problem-solving
  • perseverance
  • expression
  • cultural awareness
  • academic subjects
  • prioritized
  • career opportunities
  • quantifiable
  • resources
  • economic returns
  • technology
  • engineering
  • academic rigor
  • coursework
What to do next:
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