Topic: "Some people argue that governments should make healthy food cheaper and unhealthy food more expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Governments around the world should make healthy
food
cheaper than unhealthy
food
in order to make
people
stay healthy and reduce rates of obesity. Making healthy
food
more affordable would encourage
people
to choose healthier options.
For example
, in Mexico, sugary drinks and junk
food
were contributing to a high percentage of obesity and diabetes. So governments announced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high tax on unhealthy
food
and
promoting
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
cheaper
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
show examples
and vegetables.
As a result
, public
people
started to buy healthier foods so that they could stay healthy.
Therefore
, the right way is to make healthy
food
inexpensive to maintain the wellness of
people
.
However
, making healthy
food
cheaper and unhealthy
food
more expensive has one disadvantage
is that
Verb problem
:
show examples
it might create a financial burden for some
people
who
accustomed
Add a missing verb
are accustomed
show examples
processed
Change preposition
to processed
show examples
food
.
For example
,
people
with a limited budget who are used to affordable snacks or junk
food
might find it challenging to afford these high prices, which may increase their
overall
living costs.
This
leads to the resistance of these
people
to make fast
food
more expensive.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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introduction conclusion
Consider adding a conclusion to summarize your points and restate your position. This will improve your essay's structure.
logical structure
Use more conjunctions and linking words to enhance the flow between ideas. For instance, using phrases like "On the other hand," "In addition," etc., can make transitions smoother.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides a specific example from Mexico, which helps support the argument about the effectiveness of taxing unhealthy foods.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main points are clearly presented, and the essay addresses both potential benefits and drawbacks of making healthy food cheaper.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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