You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Recent studies highlighted the increase in mental and physical
problems
specially
in the youngest generations Replace the word
especially
due to
several main reasons, some folks highlights
that to eliminate those types of Change the verb form
highlight
problems
, the government shall
Verb problem
should
make
appropriate Correct your spelling
take
measure
in terms of reducing Fix the agreement mistake
measures
pollution
and accommodation problems
, I highly agree that those measures shall be taken seriously to prevent the society wellbeing which will lead to a better healthier future.
first and foremost pollution
has a direct impact on people's health
and overall
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
safety, Change noun form
society's
due to
the immense ratio of green emissions and the spread of Carbon dioxide and many other gases likewise
, this
led to a lot of new diseases outbreak
. Fix the agreement mistake
disease outbreaks
For
example
Lung cancer Add a comma
example,
had
a direct relation with environmental Wrong verb form
has
air
pollution
; air
pollution
is a significant and far-reaching threat to public health
, with 99% of the world's population breathing unhealthy air
.
Moreover
, poor accommodation is associated with a wide range of health
conditions, including poisoning, respiratory infections, in addition
to asthma, unfortunately
all the new born are diagnosed being asthmatic and have a lot of lung and respiratory Add the comma(s)
unfortunately,
problems
. Some Critics argue that the government shall
focus on education rather than Verb problem
should
health
problems
, although
I believe that health
is a gateway to a better and safer community.
In conclusion, Poor air
quality can lead to numerous problems
which need to be solved by the local authorities, government
shall strive to minimize Add an article
the government
air
pollution
, additionally
expanding the infrastructure to serve more spaces, in order to offer better accommodation solutions, which will prevent infection and will lead to a healthier and an improved society.Submitted by Mido on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical issues like capitalization and punctuation errors to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate clearer transitions between ideas to improve the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more varied examples to strengthen the arguments and demonstrate a broad understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively responds to the task and maintains a clear position throughout.
Task Achievement
Each main point is well-supported with reasoning and some examples, illustrating good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, clearly stating the main argument and summarizing the key points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.