Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Issues related to the modern world are frequently discussed these
days
.
Although
some believe that getting old is entirely bad, others criticize
this
and argue that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. In the following paragraph, both sides of
this
statement will be discussed. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why being old people nowadays is awful. The principal reason is that there are a large number of scammers who are experts in technology today.
In other words
, some people use modern equipment to defraud others.
For example
, the problems of call-center gangs are the main concern in societies these
days
especially for old people because of their lack of technological knowledge.
On the other hand
, some opponents may argue that the elderly's life these
days
is much better than before. The main reason for
this
view is that there are plenty of technologies helping their daily activities to be much more convenient. To explain, aged individuals had to achieve everything manually by themselves in the past.
For instance
, they use maps when driving somewhere
while
we only put our destination's specific name in Google Maps these
days
before
this
feature will lead us to the point. From my perspective, I personally believe that life
this
day not only for the elderly but
also
for everybody is by far more convenient than in the past because of present-day gadgets.
Therefore
, governments and individuals should carefully realize the balance between the benefits and drawbacks of innovations.
Submitted by nine318 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides a reasonable structure with an introduction and conclusion; however, transitions between ideas could be smoother for enhanced coherence. Utilize a range of linking words and ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next.
Task Achievement
While the essay addresses the task, the response should offer a more nuanced discussion on both views before reaching a conclusion. Your own opinion is clear, but the development of arguments would benefit from deeper analysis and more elaboration on each point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: