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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

what are the two main reasons that Saudi people go on holiday overseas? write a short four paragraph essay. write about 250 words.

#two #saudi #people #holiday #four #paragraph
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A recent study showed that more than one million
Saudi
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people
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travel
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 abroad every year to spend a few days
enjoing
Correct your spelling
enjoying
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their holidays. They
travel
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 to visit the places which have cold
weather
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 with
beutifule
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beautiful
nature
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. In the summer season, the temperature in
Saudi
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 Arabia
at
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in
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 some cities
reachs
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reaches
 50 ,so many
people
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 who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 there are looking
about
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for
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 locations which cold as soon as they get a vacation at
this
Linking Words
 time. Cold
weather
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 makes them comfortable and allows them to go out during the day to shop, exercise or whatever they want which is impossible if they are in their country.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Saudi
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 country has a dry, rainless climate ,so many of them
travel
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 abroad to
looking
Wrong verb form
look
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about
Change preposition
for
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 places which
has
Change the verb form
have
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 rainy
weather
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.
Although
Linking Words
 there are cities in
Saudi
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 which have rainy
weather
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,
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Saudi
Fix the agreement mistake
Saudis
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 do not prefer it because it gets very
crowed
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crowded
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 on rainy days and its rain is not
continuos
Correct your spelling
continuous
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
travel
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 to places which
has
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have
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rainfull
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rainfall
rain full
forcast
Correct your spelling
forecast
. The second reason is the
nature
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 views which
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 available in
Saudi
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 Arabia.
Saudi
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people
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 think that
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nature
Replace the word
natural
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 views are
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
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 of visual therapy for feeling, which treats
pschological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 stress. Some
Saudi
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 tourists prefer camping in
nature
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 forests that are
laking
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lacking
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Saudi
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's
nature
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. Waterfall, boat trips across
valls
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villages
, watching cows graze on green areas, standing next to wild animals as they eat their prey, and feeding domesticated animals are all factors that attract
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Saudi
Fix the agreement mistake
Saudis
show examples
 to spend their holiday abroad. In summary, beautiful
nature
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 and nice
weather
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 are the most important reasons that make
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Saudi
Fix the agreement mistake
Saudis
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 thrilled to
travel
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 abroad. Many
Saudi
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people
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 go on holiday overseas because
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 want to experience a different climate
that is
Linking Words
 cooler than their country and it has
green
Correct article usage
a green
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nature
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 with a nice view.
Submitted by majed.al3nzi on

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accuracy
Ensure to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor spelling errors such as 'beutifule', 'reachs', 'crowed', 'continuos', etc.
coherence
Work on developing your sentences with varied structures for a more engaging writing style. This will enhance the flow of your ideas.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main reasons Saudi people travel abroad effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples concerning climate and nature that support your main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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