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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think teachers have a greater influence than parents on the development of a child's intelligence and social skills. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#people #teachers #influence #parents #development #child #intelligence #skills
These days, it is often argued that the
development
 of a child's intelligence and social
skills
 is highly influenced by teachers rather than
parents
. I completely disagree with
this
 notion and believe that
parents
 are the ones who have more impact on students's growth. MY inclination is justified in the following paragraphs. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my opinion is emotional support.
Children
 who feel emotionally supported are more likely to develop trust, empathy, and the ability to engage in positive relationships with peers.
Furthermore
, emotional security fosters
children
 to explore, learn, and solve problems, which is essential for cognitive
development
. When
children
 feel safe they are more likely to take intellectual risks, ask questions, and seek new information. Another reason why I disagree with
this
 statement is the language because the amount and the quality of verbal interaction between
children
 and
parents
 is directly linked to cognitive
development
.
Parents
 who engage in conversations, read regularly
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and encourage storytelling help to develop language
skills
, which is foundational to academic study.
To conclude
 and vocal my opinion, it can be
finally
 said that despite the beneficial
skills
children
 learn from teachers, I believe that
parents
 have more advantages over
youngsters's
Remove the s
youngsters'
show examples
 intelligence and social
skills
due to
 emotional support and language
development
.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples, such as personal anecdotes or studies that show the impact of parental influence on intelligence and social skills.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the consistent use of possessives, for example, 'students's' should be 'students'.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a formal tone by avoiding overly personal expressions like 'vocal my opinion'. You might say, 'In conclusion, it is evident...' instead.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced the topic and provided a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, with clear support for your main points.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, discussing the role of both teachers and parents.
task achievement
Your arguments are supported by general reasoning related to emotional support and language development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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