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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #sport
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In today’s society, people’s perspectives on education have shown significant divergence.
Therefore
, the question of whether high schools should include a compulsory curriculum for free
community
service
,
such
 as working in a charity, helping the neighbourhood, or mentoring younger children, has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective, I agree with the viewpoint that
students
 should engage in volunteer campaigns as these can bring about numerous benefits to them. There are several reasons why experiencing
community
service
 is crucial for
students
.
Firstly
, the process of volunteering not only fosters problem-solving skills but
also
 improves their level of independence, as they may encounter many problems they have not faced in school.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, working for a charity allows them to meet a variety of people, thereby demanding collaboration and human connection, which enhances their interpersonal skills. Even more importantly,
students
 can develop their
overall
 cognitive abilities when engaging in free
community
service
.
For instance
, teaching younger children is an efficient approach to improving their level of patience and empathy, as they will demonstrate resilience and responsibility during the teaching process, all of which are important components of becoming a well-rounded adult.
However
, it is undeniable that spending excessive time on unpaid
community
service
 contributes to certain
concerning
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issues,
such
 as
students
 having little time to learn pivotal subjects like Math, Science, and Technology, which may influence their career prospects.
Nevertheless
, joining
community
service
also
 provides access to the job market; through work experience,
students
 can build connections with a wide range of people who may offer job opportunities in the future.
This
, in turn, paves the way in their career paths In conclusion,
while
 engaging in unpaid
community
service
 may lead to some concerns, the benefits of
this
 activity far outweigh the disadvantages: the improvement of cognitive skills, the enhancement of
students
' independence, and an increase in job opportunities, all of which are indispensable for
students
.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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introduction conclusion present
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introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarises the main arguments and reiterates your position.
logical structure
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supported main points
Main points are well supported throughout the essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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