It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Today, saving money is an enormous problem for everybody special youth. I totally agree with

this

statement. I will illustrate how it would be if people saved a budget for their future. On the one hand, youngsters have wanted to buy new technologies in the

last

decades. These devices are expensive

then

it is not easy for young people to buy them in a few months. They have to save most part of their income

for buying

Change preposition

to buy

show examples

new stuff.

Therefore

, there is no alternative to escape

this

situation for people. If we want to have the newest version of devices, we should save dollars.

On the other hand

, individuals work for around thirty years which means they have a salary when they do a job.

Thus

, humans must save a part of their salaries for the rest of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Insurance companies do

this

job for humans. Insurance companies give specific money after retirement, which means workers save their budget whole their lives.

However

Change preposition

show examples

some occasions, like urgent

medicine

Replace the word

medical

show examples

help,

such

as unpredictable sickness or an accident, we will need financial support to pass away

this

situation.

Hence

, dollars which have been saved always will be useful in the hardest times.

For example

, once I had an accident,

then

I had to transfer by plane to my hometown. If I did not have enough cash, I probably faced a lot of problems during holidays in the university's dormitory. In conclusion, one of the important tasks humans, including youngsters, do is put away cash for their future. In my opinion, someday we will need

this

save for something in our life to pass away issues or it is possible for us to buy everything.

Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on Mon Nov 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that the essay remains focused and direct in its arguments and examples.

task achievement

Ensure examples are consistently relevant and support the main points in a clear manner.

coherence cohesion

Strive for clarity in expressing ideas to improve the logical flow of information.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear conclusion that reaffirms the introduction and overall argument.

task achievement

There is a complete response to the task by addressing the need for saving among young people.

task achievement

The essay uses personal experiences as examples, which can be engaging and relatable for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefits of having a uniform for the staff?

Some people say that government should pay for the health care and education but other people say that it is not the governments’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000

Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?