It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, saving money is an enormous problem for everybody special youth. I totally agree with

this

statement. I will illustrate how it would be if people saved a budget for their future. On the one hand, youngsters have wanted to buy new technologies in the

last

decades. These devices are expensive

then

it is not easy for young people to buy them in a few months. They have to save most part of their income to buy new stuff.

Therefore

, there is no alternative to escape

this

situation for people. If we want to have the newest version of devices, we should save dollars.

On the other hand

, individuals work for around thirty years which means they have a salary when they do a job.

Thus

, humans must save a part of their salaries for the rest of their lives. Insurance companies do

this

job for humans. Insurance companies give specific money after retirement, which means workers save their budget whole their lives.

However

, on some occasions, like urgent medical help,

such

as unpredictable sickness or an accident, we will need financial support to pass away

this

situation.

Hence

, dollars which have been saved

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

always will be useful in the hardest times.

For example

, once I had an accident,

then

Change the capitalization

show examples

had to transfer by plane to my hometown. If I did not have enough cash, I probably faced a lot of problems

Change preposition

during

show examples

holidays in the university's dormitory. In conclusion, one of the important tasks humans, including youngsters, do is put away cash for their future. In my opinion, someday we will need

this

save for something in our life to pass away issues or it is possible for us to buy everything.

Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on Mon Nov 11 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the topic effectively, and your position is clear. However, it would benefit from including more specific examples and detailed reasoning to fully support your main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Try to use more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point supported by evidence or examples. This will enhance clarity and keep the reader engaged.

task response

The essay has a clear stance on the statement and explores it effectively.

coherence cohesion

The structure includes a proper introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas of the essay.

task response

You provide practical examples related to personal experiences, which adds a personal touch and relevance to your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the umber of animals and plants is decreasing. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in highschools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.