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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the
importation
Use synonyms
 of diverse
food
Use synonyms
 items has become seamless across nations. I contend that the demerits outweigh its merits.
Although
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importation
Use synonyms
 has brought about a rapid increase in the range of nutritious
foods
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 and economic progression, the high cost of transportation and the rise of importing unhealthy
food
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 is a cause for concern.
Firstly
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, one of the most significant benefits of globalized
food
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 trade is the increased availability of nutritious
foods
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 diversity allows people to gain access to a variety of fruits, vegetables, and other
foods
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 that are not readily available in their country.
For Instance
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, People in temperate climate environments can get access to
food
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 and fruits which are not in their region.
In addition
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,
food
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importation
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 can contribute to accelerating economic growth and development. By importing and exporting products, countries can create jobs, and generate increased revenue. Even though, the exorbitant cost of transporting these goods can lead to inflation.
On the other hand
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, one of the drawbacks is the
importation
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 of unhealthy
foods
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. Processed
foods
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 are processed with chemicals to increase their shelf life.
Therefore
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,
additionally
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,
these chemical preservation
Change the determiner
this chemical preservation
these chemical preservations
show examples
 could lead to chronic disease, thereby causing a
potential
Change the adjective
potentially
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 grave threat to life.
For instance
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, many sardines in the local supermarket have rust and contain particular chemicals that cause cancer. Another drawback is the potential risk of
food
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 insecurity, overdependence on imported
foods
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 can make countries vulnerable to disruptions in the global supply chain,
such
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 as those caused by natural disasters, political instability and economic crises.
Hence
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,
this
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 can lead to
food
Use synonyms
 shortages and inflation for several countries that are vulnerable. In conclusion,
although
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 there are plenty/numerous benefits of importing
food
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 from abroad,
such
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 as economic development,
an
Correct word choice
and an
show examples
 increase in the variety of
foods
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, its disadvantages
such
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 as high costs of transportation,
food
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 insecurity, and
importation
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 of unhealthy
foods
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, should be a cause of concern.

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relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples or case studies to support your main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although your ideas are clear, some points could be developed further for greater depth.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively setting the context and summarizing your arguments.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific point.
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