IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe it is best to stay in city while some think it is better to stay in village. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #city #think #village
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The given topic is highly controversial.
However
Linking Words
, if a glance is taken at the pros and cons of
this
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 aspect, it is irrefutable to say that
although
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 there are a lot of advantages to
live
Change the verb form
living
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 in the cities,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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the importance of villages cannot be neglected. So I perceive that cities provide us better life rather than villages and I hereby give the following arguments to support myself. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, there are multifarious reasons why experts
belives
Verb problem
believe
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 that
cities
Change the noun form
city
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 life is best. One of the major
acting
Correct word choice
apply
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forces behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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 that people live in the 21st century where they want to attain
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 standard of living including wealth, comfort and employment.
Hence
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, they can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their basic needs without facing any issues.
In other words
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, everyone knows that there are a variety of jobs available in the urban
areas
Use synonyms
 which helps us to complete our goals
that
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 not possible in villages.
Moreover
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, history reveals that, in developing countries like India, where the majority
people
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of people
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 go to urban
areas
Use synonyms
for getting
Change preposition
to get
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high
Add an article
the high
a high
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 tone of education. Under these circumstances, they waste their quality
of
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apply
show examples
time
to travel
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travelling
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 from
place
Correct pronoun usage
one place
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 to another.
On the other hand
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, it is reckoned by many multitudes that living in rural
areas
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 is the best option as there masses live together and share their feelings and sorrows with each other. On top of
that
Add a comma
that,
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 they always remain healthy in their lives owing to
this
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 they exercise on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
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bases
Fix the agreement mistake
basis
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 and eat healthy food
with
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apply
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high in nutrients. In
briefly
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brief
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, In developed
areas
Use synonyms
 everyone runs like a rat race to earn a lot of money in
this
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 case they spend their enough time in workplaces.
Subsequently
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, they give more preference to fast food as they feel tired. They do not have
qulaity
Correct your spelling
quality
 of time
cook
Fix the infinitive
to cook
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 food at home. To recapitulate, it cannot be denied that every coin has two sides which can carry their own advantages and drawbacks. But
according to
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 me, urban
areas
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the best option these days because they provide us
many
Change preposition
with many
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 facilities including Hospitals, Education and Playgrounds not only
this
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, but
also
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 us to get a name and fame in society.
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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task achievement
Your essay successfully introduces both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion. However, ensure your main arguments are directly supported with specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, provide concrete examples of jobs, education, or healthcare facilities in urban areas.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the context by acknowledging both sides of the argument and clearly stating your opinion.
logical structure
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body, and conclusion, demonstrating a coherent format.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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