IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that the government should invest more in education, while others believe that investment in infrastructure should be prioritized. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #education #investment #infrastructure
There is a debate over whether the government should allocate their funding to
education
 or prioritize
infrastructure
instead
. In
this
 essay, I will shed light on both perspectives and give my own opinion. To commence with, investment in
education
 systems is fundamental to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
skilled
Correct article usage
the skilled
show examples
 workforce and
deal
Wrong verb form
dealing
show examples
 with
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate. In terms of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force, a concrete educational foundation can increase both productivity and professional qualifications, inducing an advanced expertise workforce. Turning to diminishing the unemployment rate, individuals can easily look for well-paid jobs and sustainable income when they have a high level of specialization.
Therefore
, it indirectly increases
GDP
Correct article usage
the GDP
show examples
 index, helping develop the general economy.
On the other hand
,
infrastructure
 endowment has temporary economic and social benefits. Improved
infrastructure
,
such
 as transportation, energy, and telecommunications, enables businesses to operate more efficiently with lower costs and draws foreign investment.
Thus
, it leads to higher productivity and economic expansion.
Furthermore
, the more the quality of
infrastructure
 is upgraded, the more individuals’ living standards increase.
To conclude
, both investments in
education
 and
infrastructure
 bring about huge benefits to not only people’s lives but
also
 social progress.
However
, investment in
education
 offers long-term growth, creating a sustainable strategy. In my opinion, the government should strike a balance between these two issues by reasonably allocating resources and a professional
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a country that has benefited from either educational investment or infrastructure improvements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the benefits of education, while the other could focus solely on infrastructure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a coherent flow of ideas.
logical structure
The arguments for both education and infrastructure investment are well-structured and articulated.
task achievement
Task is fully addressed by discussing both perspectives and giving a personal opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: