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Writing Samples
Band 7

Q. In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

#q #countries #celebrities #media #publicizes #lives #people #part #fame
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These days, the factor
that is
 really important for some celebrities is that their private
lives
 are not shared with the media
while
 a group of
people
 think that they ought to accept
this
 item as the section of their career. I do not subscribe to
this
 idea owing to the fact that the followers admire the ideal person;
whereas
,
people
's private
lives
 are so different from their work time;
additionally
, the matters that populations especially communities who know a majority of
people
 have a need to be in secret. On the one hand, most of the communities who admire famous
people
 think that they should have the same good behaviour in their social and private
lives
 and when they do not do these works all the time, they do not follow them;
however
, the fact
that is
 really important is that
people
 in their privacy can do every work and they need to be in secret for themselves not sharing with all humans.
On the other hand
, global citizens have several issues in their
lives
 with other
people
 and devices;
moreover
, they do not share them with other
people
 inasmuch as they are weak;
furthermore
, when other
people
 know about their problems, they feel bad.
In other words
, after a short run, they get mentally ill on account of the fact that they want to hide their matters but they cannot do it really well.
To sum up
, in my opinion, famous
people
 like other citizens across the world have some abilities and weaknesses, and they demonstrate just the bold points of their skill ,so they require the right to privacy to not judge for the bad points of their manner or issues.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and give your essay more depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in each paragraph by giving each a central idea and supporting it with clear examples or explanations.
task achievement
The essay questions the notion that celebrities should accept media scrutiny as part of fame, presenting a clear stance against it.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, setting up the issue and summarizing the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to privacy
  • media intrusion
  • mental health
  • family life
  • set boundaries
  • legal means
  • protect privacy
  • social media
  • personal narrative
  • freedom of the press
  • ethical journalism
  • sensationalism
  • public scrutiny
  • public interest
  • prurient curiosity
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