IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have arranged to rent a new apartment, but will not be able to move in immediately due to some personal difficulties. Write a letter to the apartment owner. In your letter describe the situation explain why you won't be able to move in right now say that you would like to move in at a later date.

#rent #apartment #move #difficulties #owner #situation #right #date
Dear Sir, I am writing a letter to inform you that I will not be able to move
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the flat on the 22nd of June, I will be able to move in, on the 22nd of July
due to
 some personal reasons. Let me explain the situation in more detail. My exams are coming in the same
month
 and I have to study for my exams. I will not be able to
shift
 during my exam time as it is important to me. I am planning to
shift
 one
month
 later and
that is
 the July
month
. Sorry for the inconvenience. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
July
month
, I will be free to
shift
 in the apartment and there will be no stress of exams during that time. I would like you to change the dates on
agreement
Correct article usage
the agreement
show examples
also
 which we made a week ago. I hope you will understand the issue and you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 allow me to
shift
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
July
month
. I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be waiting for a positive reply from you. Yours Sincerely, Kulbeer Kaur
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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task achievement
Although the letter explains why you won't be able to move in, providing a bit more context about your exams and how they impact you would improve the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to always address the reader respectfully and avoid repetition of phrases like 'July month' throughout your letter to elevate its coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and respectful, which is very suitable for this kind of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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