Food can be produced much more cheaply with the use of improved fertilizers and better machinery However some methods may be dangerous for human health and have negative effect on local communities To what extent do you think its disadvantages over weigh

In
this
day and age, the economic effect makes people in societies need to save money
hence
, they are more concerned about the price of the material individuals will choose the cheapest price especially,
food
because the essential things that have to consumption in every day.
In addition
, cheap
food
has a dangerous process which is low-quality
fertilizers
or
machinery
. In my perspective, perspective the most dangerous is the first step of producing
food
like
fertilizers
.
To begin
with,
fertilizers
are the cycle of
food
which is a component of growing plants and vegetables that humans and livestock eat;
therefore
, it impacts the physical health of either humans or livestock. In fact, the chemistry in
fertilizers
helps plants grow fast in a short time,
although
, it can save time to produce it reduces the quality of
food
leading to physical health issues for consumers
such
as stomach
cancer
, liver
cancer
, or gastrointestinal infection. Alternatively, the method and
machinery
produce
food
also
have drawbacks to physical health;
in particular
,
cancer
several doctors are concerned about the statistic of
cancer
caused by
food
from the factory that
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
low
qualities
of
machinery
,
moreover
, numerous analyze the claim that the greatest factor of stomach
cancer
is from cheapy
food
made in low
qualities
factory that it not up to the standard of
machinery
.
To sum up
, both reasons
also
harmed humans, but the fact that lack
qualities
can be proven by
food
organization and close it but the
fertilizers
it very hard to control the
qualities
of owing to it have a lot of dangerous chemistry in it.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating clearer and more cohesive transitions between different points in your essay to enhance the overall flow and readability.
Task Achievement
Try to elaborate your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main issues you will discuss, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your key arguments.
Task Achievement
You present a clear viewpoint regarding the dangers related to fertilizers and machinery in food production.
Task Achievement
You attempt to discuss both fertilizers and machinery which contributes to a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary, highlighting the grave concerns about the quality of fertilizers.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • fertilizers
  • biodiversity
  • monoculture
  • yield
  • pesticides
  • industrial agriculture
  • contamination
  • ecosystem
  • profit margins
  • traditional farming
  • efficiency
  • health hazards
  • economic advantages
  • local economies
  • environmental impact
  • genetic modification
  • soil depletion
  • water contamination
  • public health
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