Some people believe that the primary purpose of education is to help individuals become useful members of society, while others think it is about achieving personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #members #society #ambitions

Nowadays

education

is the most important thing

for

Change preposition

show examples

life. Many

people

believe that learned

people

are very useful for

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

society

Change preposition

of society

show examples

while

others believe that

education

can open the door for personal development and achieving dreams. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

education

is more useful for

society

Firstly

only educated

people

can be useful for

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

society

and

also

they can change their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

better

Correct article usage

the better

show examples

because learned

people

easily find their place in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and they lead the remaining uneducated black workers and they can show their talents to other countries and

Correct your spelling

introduces

introduce

introduses

Correct your spelling

introduce

their country to the world and gain great respect in the

society

and

also

education

has to improve the welfare local

people

in the

society

On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

every

person's

Change noun form

person

show examples

has their childhood and they have to study for their goal.

As a result

this

helped them to find good and high pay

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

then

they begin to achieve their dreams and

this

also

increases personal development.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

some humans can achieve personal goals without

education

because they have

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

way

for earn

Change preposition

of earning

show examples

money

any

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

they do not give up. To sum

education

should be a part of life and it can be beneficial for achieving personal

ambitious

Replace the word

ambitions

show examples

but not more than

society

Submitted by Writing9 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point that is fully developed and supported with examples or explanations. This will help improve the coherence and clarity of your essay.

Task Achievement

Try to provide more balanced arguments for each perspective. While you presented both views, the explanation could be more detailed with specific examples to make your points stronger.

Introduction/Conclusion

Make sure to address both views equally and relate them to your opinion clearly throughout the essay. Your conclusion should clearly summarize the main points discussed.

Introduction/Conclusion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the discussion on the purpose of education.

Task Achievement

You have addressed both views regarding the purpose of education, which is a good start to answering the task question fully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

210 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the primary purpose of education is to help individuals become useful members of society, while others think it is about achieving personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Despite a large quantity of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

"Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspapers and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.