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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
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The graphs below show the
ownership
Use synonyms
 of electrical appliances and amount of the
time
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 spent
during
Change preposition
on
show examples
housework
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 in
households
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 between 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, since 1940, when the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances had increased rapidly, at the same
time
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 the number of
hours
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 of
housework
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 per week decreased. From 1920 to 1980, vacuum cleaner
ownership
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 had been increasing by 20% every 20 years and by 2000 over 100
percent
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 of owners had vacuum cleaners in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. In 1920
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 had washing machines. After 40 years the percentage of washing machine owners increased by 30
percent
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. By 1980 washing
machines
Change the noun form
machine
show examples
ownership
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 was reduced to just under 63
percent
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 ,after
bounced
Wrong verb form
bouncing
show examples
 back to 70% by 2000. In comparison with other electrical
appliances
Add a comma
appliances,
show examples
 The percentage of
households
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 with refrigerators in 1920 was zero
percent
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. From 1920 to 1980 refrigerators
ownership
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 had increased rapidly by 100% . Between 2000 to 2019 over 100% of
Use synonyms
ownership
Replace the word
owners
show examples
 had vacuum cleaners and refrigerators in their home . At the same
time
Use synonyms
 just under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
75
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 had washing machines. In 1920 the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent doing
housework
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 was 50
hours
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 per week . From 1940 to 1960
hours
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 of
housework
Use synonyms
 had been decreasing by 15
hours
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 every 20 years. By 1980 over 15
hours
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 spent on
housework
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. In 2000 the same amount of
time
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spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 doing
housework
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 and by 2019 only 10
hours
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
show examples
 on
housework
Use synonyms
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership, time, housework, households, hours, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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