It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a Credit Card, a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #credit #card #mortgage #car #idea

It is true that many

people

prefer to borrow

money

to buy some things rather than

use

their

money

. These days, there are several

solutions

to borrowing

money

that apply more easily than before and banks around the world publish

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Credit

cards and

applied

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

other

solutions

Therefore

, most

people

in the world

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

like to

use

these apply payment methods rather than apply their

money

. In my opinion, these

solutions

can cause many problems for them. As I have said before, these

solutions

are not well for them. Especially, for those whom someone does not have

money

but insist hard to buying something with a

credit

card

while

if they pay with a

credit

card

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

they have to

use

Verb problem

apply

show examples

credit

card

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the other time.

Thus

, it will be burdened for them in the future and

this

is not good for sustainability.

Furthermore

, in my religion, these

solutions

should not be used. It is because applying the system in

credit

cards is not clear

such

as the amount of

money

borrowed and the returned is different.

On the other hand

, these

solutions

can help

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

some

people

to get many benefits from payment using

credit

cards. At

this

moment, the bank central and many sellers work together to release many profit to those who someone apply want to

use

the

credit

card

and for whom someones share about it.

That is

why, it will be helpful for them. In summary, one of the most popular

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

methods of payment is a

credit

card

and almost all

people

have to

use

it.

Additionally

, I believe a

credit

card

can be a burden for them but it will depend if they can be used

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to apply objective goods

such

as to get

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefits.

Submitted by millionmiles.indonesia on Wed Nov 13 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on making the argument clearer by organizing the points more logically and by linking them effectively with cohesive devices. This will help the reader follow your argument better.

Task Achievement

Avoid repetition of words and phrases like 'apply' which sometimes seems misplaced in the context. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Expand on the points made to make the argument more comprehensive. Currently, the points are mentioned but not developed with examples or further explanations.

Task Achievement

The essay attempts to provide a clear opinion and side on the issue of borrowing money and using credit cards, which is good for task response.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows understanding of the essay format.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compelled
strategic financial decision
investing
property
cash flow
rewards programs
debt trap
servicing debt
exacerbate
financial strain
cycle of debt
personal responsibility
financial literacy
informed decisions
excessive borrowing
ill-informed borrowing
financial planning

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It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people have a Credit Card, a mortgage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Prompt: Watching TV shows and movies about crime is becoming more and more popular. Why is this? What effects does that have on society?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?