Some people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life. Others think there are more important factors (hard work or luck). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
think that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
consideration
Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
show examples
is
one
Use synonyms
of the important
Use synonyms
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
to being
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
. Others think there are more important
Use synonyms
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
. To consider the example of
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
person in my life, I believe that there are more important
Use synonyms
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
to
success
Use synonyms
. The factors
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
being
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
unpredictable. The
opportunity
Use synonyms
. We can see many professional
Use synonyms
career
Change to a plural noun
careers
show examples
in Hong Kong .
Such
Linking Words
as funeral
arranger
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangers
show examples
and
lawyer
Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
show examples
. To be
these
Change preposition
in these
show examples
carreer
Correct your spelling
careers
,
people
Use synonyms
have to learn the professional knowledge of relative
career
Use synonyms
first. But
this
Linking Words
is just the first step.
People
Use synonyms
need to get
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
show examples
and qualifications. If you already get the
qyalifications
Correct your spelling
qualifications
qualification
of your
career
Use synonyms
. You still have to get
Use synonyms
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to be that professional
career
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, funeral arranger. It is a quite
seriously
Change the word
serious
show examples
career
Use synonyms
for everybody. Because it is about death. Funeral
arranger
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangers
show examples
have to complete their work carefully and you need to
fina
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
a
job
Use synonyms
by the relative
people
Use synonyms
. The customer
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to find the
prople
Correct your spelling
people
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
they trust . Good planning is not the
one
Use synonyms
hundred
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for you to get a
job
Use synonyms
. The
importtant
Correct your spelling
important
factors
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
luck and
opportunity
Use synonyms
. The society trend. Hong Kong's birth percentage became lower every year. The
student
Fix the agreement mistake
number of students
show examples
in Hong Kong become lower. The needs of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
become lower. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
is harder than before. We never know what will happen in the next year or even
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
day. Good planning is not the most important
factor
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
success
Use synonyms
in life because you can not predict the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, good planning is
one
Use synonyms
of the
Use synonyms
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
being
Use synonyms
success
Add an article
a success
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
as the
pianist
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
have to get the qualifications
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
piano
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
so that they can be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
pianist
Fix the agreement mistake
pianists
show examples
. To be a successful
pianist
Use synonyms
, you need to practice piano when you were kids.
Pianist
Use synonyms
is a
job
Use synonyms
that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
lots of time for training. If
people
Use synonyms
want to be
Use synonyms
pianist
Add an article
a pianist
show examples
when they grow up, they have to plan.
For example
Linking Words
,
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
pianist
Use synonyms
Lang Lang in China. He participated
lots
Change preposition
in lots
show examples
of piano
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
and
showcase
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcases
show examples
when he was young. He
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to find lots of opportunities to get attention
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
other
people
Use synonyms
. So he
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
to plan when he was a child. To consider the
job
Use synonyms
type, good planning is
one
Use synonyms
of the important factors to be
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
about
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the factor
show examples
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
of being successful. I think that being successful
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
influenced by
opportunity
Use synonyms
and
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
that
unpredictable
Add a missing verb
are unpredictable
show examples
. But good planning is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
of the important
Use synonyms
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
to being
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Improve grammatical accuracy, taking care with subject-verb agreement and correct word usage.
coherence
Enhance paragraph structures to maintain logical flow and coherence.
task response
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
The essay considers both views on the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence
Clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • good planning
  • goals
  • objectives
  • allocation of resources
  • uncertainty
  • productivity
  • hard work
  • diligence
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • continuous improvement
  • challenges
  • setbacks
  • luck
  • opportunities
  • favorable circumstances
  • outcome
  • personal opinion
  • crucial
  • unpredictable
  • remain open
What to do next:
Look at other essays: